soo-won listens rather placidly for most of it, taking in the story, but the arrogance of that statement does manage to make his brows raise. he moves to clean up after himself, putting the kettle away because he doesn't think goat knows how to do dishes, and then he moves to hand goat one of the cups of tea.
he begins to drink the other himself.]
... some people believe their rank or power gives them the right to stand over others, whether it be by birthright or force.
I'm sorry to hear it.
[because whether by time they'd known each other or otherwise, it sounds like goat cared deeply for this person.
and that's always painful, to see how the ones you love can become so twisted]
[ goat definitely doesn't know how to do dishes. he takes the tea, though. ]
... In a way, I am grateful for our argument. Not in that moment, but right now, there are many things he said that help explain my life before then, even if I still lack the memories. Though, the details of our fight would likely bore you.
[ which is to say, jan is sorry for all these longass comments. anyway, he sips at his tea. ]
In any case, I continued to go out, and looked after that girl I mentioned before. She came to realize I wasn't human, after I protected her from wild animals in the forest, but she still accepted me and called me her friend.
... I don't remember why, but meanwhile, that child's clock began to move forward once more, meaning that he would die of old age now. [ tears actually spring to goat's eyes as he recalls this, before he wipes them away. ] Though he grieved at first, he calmed himself. Moreover, he was worried on my behalf. He actually told me to live among the humans once more, since he didn't wish for me to be alone after he passed.
But I intended to remain with him for the rest of his life, as I had vowed. So, I was going to tell my human friend that I could no longer see her.
[ ...
he freezes, before he abruptly puts the cup down before he can drop it. ]
[do NOT apologize for the longass comments when i love every single bit of lore how dare you
soo-won is going to pause a that, though, a bit surprised. he'll set his tea down as well just so that he can reach out to place a hand on goat's shoulder, as if to reassure him.]
[ good thing you're still allowed to touch the leaders, because imagine if they were both shocked right now. ]
... I-I don't know. I don't understand...
[ with his other hand, opposite to soo-won, he clutches his head. ]
I went to the town... to see her. She had invited me to her home, but... when I arrived, the town attacked me, with torches and weapons.
--Because of her. She... was the one who told them to kill me.
[ as goat grows increasingly emotional, soo-won will see something rather strange: black horns begin to grow from goat's head, and dark vapour spills with his breath. ]
I-I don't know why. Do I just not remember...? No, I don't--I didn't understand then, either. She had called me a friend, and yet, in that moment... she said I was a monster. Why...?
[ he starts trembling. ]
Yes, that's right--she stabbed me, and then pushed me off the sea. [ he hadn't fought back. not against the other villagers, and not against her. ] My memories end with me falling into the ocean, with her spear still pierced through my chest. [ ... ] If I died... no, but my hair was much longer then. Did someone cut it...?
If we were friends, then why did she dispose of me...!?
... And if something happened to me, then what of that child...?
[ anyway, don't mind goat just having a breakdown here. ]
but actually he's going to be very concerned about goat's breakdown. some part of soo-won is a little startled by it and yet -
.... is he? while he does not think of it often, even king hiryuu was betrayed and fought against the humans that he loved so much. even someone kind and gentle can invite the cruelty of others if they aren't careful. he listens to goat now, and doesn't flinch away when the transformation begins.
rather, his hand remains, as if to try to help ground him.]
as goat calms down again, he returns to normal--well, for a given value of normal. he looks human again, at least. ]
... Yes. I don't remember anything past falling unconscious then.
[ with a shaking hand, he picks up his tea again and take another sip. ]
The child with whom I was exiled... As much as he missed other humans--desired to be in the company of those besides myself--he believed that being kind to them only invited disappointment.
... I still do not agree with his view. Cruelty shouldn't be repaid with cruelty, and... more than anything, I simply wish to understand why that human girl did such a thing. But... perhaps that was the sort of thing he feared would happen to me.
[ . . . . when the humans turned against king hiryuu, the dragon gods beseeched him to return to the heavens. yet instead king hiryuu said that he could not, for he was human then, and he loved humans. so he did not want to leave them.
soo-won doesn't think of that story often - not truly.
but he supposes that when it's his own connection with anything regarding immortality, and facing what goat is saying now, it's all that he truly has.]
but unfortunately he doesn't seem to care about that. instead he's just going to return the embrace, tea be damned, and the hold is warm and gentle. he won't squeeze too tightly given his own injuries, but he doesn't seem to shy away from the touch either.]
[soo-won will only betray goat emotionally and he'll give fair warning if he ever goes for it!
that's better right (no)
but for the moment, he seems to just allow goat to pull away and he'll offer a smile back, sad as it is]
Of course. You can always rely on me.
... I wish that I had more to say, but I'm afraid I don't have any more answers than you. People can be unpredictable, and it can be hard to discern trust.
You don't need to give me any answers. I am--simply glad you are here. I think it would've been much worse had I regained that memory without any friends,
[soo-won can believe in people as friends rather easily, after all. and they've talked enough that he thinks that goat is someone who he likely wouldn't have to remove for the greater good.
so it's fine.]
... did you want me to share what I remembered as well? So we can be even.
[he normally would look for the chance to slide away but dammit the effect]
No, it would be in poor taste - given all that I press you.
[and in this case he actually has something in a similar ballpark that he can offer up in exchange.]
.... you know that I am a king -
But there was something missing from my memories by the first week that we arrived. And that thing that went missing was the fact that I reached my position by killing the previous king, my uncle.
[and while his expression seems shuttered off at that - he does seem to recall:]
.... they stole away part of him from me this week but I... I remember all the murmurs about the type of person he was. Kind and against violence. He banned all weapons and in order to avoid war, he would give up land at our borders to the neighboring countries. But....
A ban on weaponry does not mean that the black market cannot find them, and stockpile them for a revolt. Giving up land at our borders only shows weakness and can invite invasion at a later date - not to mention the turmoil it may cause our citizens for shifting who is governing them. He gave into all demands made of him, and the tribes in our country splintered because they couldn't follow or respect him.
... I gave him time. I waited ten years to see what he might do, how he might guide the country.
But... since he thought that Yona was the reincarnation of King Hiryuu, the first monarch and descendant of the gods, he valued her protection above all else. He thought that relying on the gods would be enough to protect the country - while the people suffered everywhere. Only the castle was a blissful place.
... I don't remember much about him - but I remember that I loved him, too. He must have been nice, I think, because kindness is a sweet sentiment.
But in the end, no one could be saved with kindness alone.
[ he falls quiet for a while, looking somber. quietly, ]
... Yes, perhaps you are right. [ ... ] I don't claim to understand the intricacies of human politics, but if nothing else...
It may be callous of the gods to do nothing, but perhaps it's for the better that humans resolve their own strife, rather than have the gods take away their will by interfering.
[ . . . . he smiles gently at that and reaches out to place a hand on goat's shoulder - ]
I love kind people. There is nothing wrong with being kind - it is only when kindness is in abundance without caution, or focused on one person no matter a person's responsibilities...
[that's when he thinks that it turns into selfishness, or an inability to rule.]
... I don't know what it's like in other worlds - but my people don't need to rely on the guidance of the gods. They have the power to help themselves.
[a beat]
How many people will die while waiting for the divine?
... Mm. Humans are capable of great things--things even gods cannot do. Perhaps not always individually, but as a whole. They have no need to wait, if they believe in their own power.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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soo-won listens rather placidly for most of it, taking in the story, but the arrogance of that statement does manage to make his brows raise. he moves to clean up after himself, putting the kettle away because he doesn't think goat knows how to do dishes, and then he moves to hand goat one of the cups of tea.
he begins to drink the other himself.]
... some people believe their rank or power gives them the right to stand over others, whether it be by birthright or force.
I'm sorry to hear it.
[because whether by time they'd known each other or otherwise, it sounds like goat cared deeply for this person.
and that's always painful, to see how the ones you love can become so twisted]
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... In a way, I am grateful for our argument. Not in that moment, but right now, there are many things he said that help explain my life before then, even if I still lack the memories. Though, the details of our fight would likely bore you.
[ which is to say, jan is sorry for all these longass comments. anyway, he sips at his tea. ]
In any case, I continued to go out, and looked after that girl I mentioned before. She came to realize I wasn't human, after I protected her from wild animals in the forest, but she still accepted me and called me her friend.
... I don't remember why, but meanwhile, that child's clock began to move forward once more, meaning that he would die of old age now. [ tears actually spring to goat's eyes as he recalls this, before he wipes them away. ] Though he grieved at first, he calmed himself. Moreover, he was worried on my behalf. He actually told me to live among the humans once more, since he didn't wish for me to be alone after he passed.
But I intended to remain with him for the rest of his life, as I had vowed. So, I was going to tell my human friend that I could no longer see her.
[ ...
he freezes, before he abruptly puts the cup down before he can drop it. ]
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soo-won is going to pause a that, though, a bit surprised. he'll set his tea down as well just so that he can reach out to place a hand on goat's shoulder, as if to reassure him.]
.... and?
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... I-I don't know. I don't understand...
[ with his other hand, opposite to soo-won, he clutches his head. ]
I went to the town... to see her. She had invited me to her home, but... when I arrived, the town attacked me, with torches and weapons.
--Because of her. She... was the one who told them to kill me.
[ as goat grows increasingly emotional, soo-won will see something rather strange: black horns begin to grow from goat's head, and dark vapour spills with his breath. ]
I-I don't know why. Do I just not remember...? No, I don't--I didn't understand then, either. She had called me a friend, and yet, in that moment... she said I was a monster. Why...?
[ he starts trembling. ]
Yes, that's right--she stabbed me, and then pushed me off the sea. [ he hadn't fought back. not against the other villagers, and not against her. ] My memories end with me falling into the ocean, with her spear still pierced through my chest. [ ... ] If I died... no, but my hair was much longer then. Did someone cut it...?
If we were friends, then why did she dispose of me...!?
... And if something happened to me, then what of that child...?
[ anyway, don't mind goat just having a breakdown here. ]
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but actually he's going to be very concerned about goat's breakdown. some part of soo-won is a little startled by it and yet -
.... is he? while he does not think of it often, even king hiryuu was betrayed and fought against the humans that he loved so much. even someone kind and gentle can invite the cruelty of others if they aren't careful. he listens to goat now, and doesn't flinch away when the transformation begins.
rather, his hand remains, as if to try to help ground him.]
Is that where the memories end, Goat?
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as goat calms down again, he returns to normal--well, for a given value of normal. he looks human again, at least. ]
... Yes. I don't remember anything past falling unconscious then.
[ with a shaking hand, he picks up his tea again and take another sip. ]
The child with whom I was exiled... As much as he missed other humans--desired to be in the company of those besides myself--he believed that being kind to them only invited disappointment.
... I still do not agree with his view. Cruelty shouldn't be repaid with cruelty, and... more than anything, I simply wish to understand why that human girl did such a thing. But... perhaps that was the sort of thing he feared would happen to me.
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soo-won doesn't think of that story often - not truly.
but he supposes that when it's his own connection with anything regarding immortality, and facing what goat is saying now, it's all that he truly has.]
.... would you like a hug?
[goat offered him similarly in the past.
so.]
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kind of looks at soo-won, surprised. ]
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he's just going to opens his arms?]
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he hugs soo-won. ):
also he's still holding onto the cup of tea so it might slosh over a little and get on soo-won's back, sorry. ]
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but unfortunately he doesn't seem to care about that. instead he's just going to return the embrace, tea be damned, and the hold is warm and gentle. he won't squeeze too tightly given his own injuries, but he doesn't seem to shy away from the touch either.]
... thank you for telling me.
And confronting something so hard with me.
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eventually, he pulls away, and manages a smile. ]
Thank you for listening.
[ can't wait for soo-won to later stab him and prove that all of his friends will betray him but anyway ]
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that's better right (no)
but for the moment, he seems to just allow goat to pull away and he'll offer a smile back, sad as it is]
Of course. You can always rely on me.
... I wish that I had more to say, but I'm afraid I don't have any more answers than you. People can be unpredictable, and it can be hard to discern trust.
Even still, I wish that you hadn't been hurt.
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You don't need to give me any answers. I am--simply glad you are here. I think it would've been much worse had I regained that memory without any friends,
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Then if it's a matter of being present, that's simple.
We're friends, Goat. I'm not afraid of you, and I have no intentions of giving up on you.
Please continue to believe in me.
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I will. As long as you can believe in me, as well.
[ "i'm sure you will continue to fail for eternity." ]
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[soo-won can believe in people as friends rather easily, after all. and they've talked enough that he thinks that goat is someone who he likely wouldn't have to remove for the greater good.
so it's fine.]
... did you want me to share what I remembered as well? So we can be even.
[he normally would look for the chance to slide away but dammit the effect]
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If you are willing. I won't force you if you're uncomfortable.
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No, it would be in poor taste - given all that I press you.
[and in this case he actually has something in a similar ballpark that he can offer up in exchange.]
.... you know that I am a king -
But there was something missing from my memories by the first week that we arrived. And that thing that went missing was the fact that I reached my position by killing the previous king, my uncle.
Yona's father, Il.
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[ ... ]
Why did you do it?
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Because the country has no need for a weak king.
[and while his expression seems shuttered off at that - he does seem to recall:]
.... they stole away part of him from me this week but I... I remember all the murmurs about the type of person he was. Kind and against violence. He banned all weapons and in order to avoid war, he would give up land at our borders to the neighboring countries. But....
A ban on weaponry does not mean that the black market cannot find them, and stockpile them for a revolt. Giving up land at our borders only shows weakness and can invite invasion at a later date - not to mention the turmoil it may cause our citizens for shifting who is governing them. He gave into all demands made of him, and the tribes in our country splintered because they couldn't follow or respect him.
... I gave him time. I waited ten years to see what he might do, how he might guide the country.
But... since he thought that Yona was the reincarnation of King Hiryuu, the first monarch and descendant of the gods, he valued her protection above all else. He thought that relying on the gods would be enough to protect the country - while the people suffered everywhere. Only the castle was a blissful place.
... I don't remember much about him - but I remember that I loved him, too. He must have been nice, I think, because kindness is a sweet sentiment.
But in the end, no one could be saved with kindness alone.
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[ he falls quiet for a while, looking somber. quietly, ]
... Yes, perhaps you are right. [ ... ] I don't claim to understand the intricacies of human politics, but if nothing else...
It may be callous of the gods to do nothing, but perhaps it's for the better that humans resolve their own strife, rather than have the gods take away their will by interfering.
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I love kind people. There is nothing wrong with being kind - it is only when kindness is in abundance without caution, or focused on one person no matter a person's responsibilities...
[that's when he thinks that it turns into selfishness, or an inability to rule.]
... I don't know what it's like in other worlds - but my people don't need to rely on the guidance of the gods. They have the power to help themselves.
[a beat]
How many people will die while waiting for the divine?
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there's a soft smile at that - is that so? he does love his people.]
.... it's why I can't die here. I must return to my country, and help guide the people so that they don't have to live in disarray again.
[he feels so strongly about his kingdom, his responsibility. but he'll reach for his tea regardless and sigh after taking a sip]
.... have any of the other Leaders realized that the removed can be revived?
[anyway. business.]
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