AUDIENCE: SOO-WON

[retellers]

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[retellers]

[ suffer ] If you are willing. I won't force you if you're uncomfortable.

[recrowns]

[ . . . . ]

No, it would be in poor taste - given all that I press you.

[and in this case he actually has something in a similar ballpark that he can offer up in exchange.]

.... you know that I am a king -

But there was something missing from my memories by the first week that we arrived. And that thing that went missing was the fact that I reached my position by killing the previous king, my uncle.

Yona's father, Il.

[retellers]

Yona... that child with the hair of sunset, correct? [ ... ] Why did you do it?

[recrowns]

[ . . . ]

Because the country has no need for a weak king.

[and while his expression seems shuttered off at that - he does seem to recall:]

.... they stole away part of him from me this week but I... I remember all the murmurs about the type of person he was. Kind and against violence. He banned all weapons and in order to avoid war, he would give up land at our borders to the neighboring countries. But....

A ban on weaponry does not mean that the black market cannot find them, and stockpile them for a revolt. Giving up land at our borders only shows weakness and can invite invasion at a later date - not to mention the turmoil it may cause our citizens for shifting who is governing them. He gave into all demands made of him, and the tribes in our country splintered because they couldn't follow or respect him.

... I gave him time. I waited ten years to see what he might do, how he might guide the country.

But... since he thought that Yona was the reincarnation of King Hiryuu, the first monarch and descendant of the gods, he valued her protection above all else. He thought that relying on the gods would be enough to protect the country - while the people suffered everywhere. Only the castle was a blissful place.

... I don't remember much about him - but I remember that I loved him, too. He must have been nice, I think, because kindness is a sweet sentiment.

But in the end, no one could be saved with kindness alone.

[retellers]

No one can be saved with kindness alone, is it... [ he falls quiet for a while, looking somber. quietly, ] ... Yes, perhaps you are right. [ ... ] I don't claim to understand the intricacies of human politics, but if nothing else... It may be callous of the gods to do nothing, but perhaps it's for the better that humans resolve their own strife, rather than have the gods take away their will by interfering.

[recrowns]

[ . . . . he smiles gently at that and reaches out to place a hand on goat's shoulder - ]

I love kind people. There is nothing wrong with being kind - it is only when kindness is in abundance without caution, or focused on one person no matter a person's responsibilities...

[that's when he thinks that it turns into selfishness, or an inability to rule.]

... I don't know what it's like in other worlds - but my people don't need to rely on the guidance of the gods. They have the power to help themselves.

[a beat]

How many people will die while waiting for the divine?

[retellers]

... Mm. Humans are capable of great things--things even gods cannot do. Perhaps not always individually, but as a whole. They have no need to wait, if they believe in their own power.

[recrowns]

[ . . . things that even gods cannot do.

there's a soft smile at that - is that so? he does love his people.]

.... it's why I can't die here. I must return to my country, and help guide the people so that they don't have to live in disarray again.

[he feels so strongly about his kingdom, his responsibility. but he'll reach for his tea regardless and sigh after taking a sip]

.... have any of the other Leaders realized that the removed can be revived?

[anyway. business.]

[retellers]

[ ... ] I don't know. I wasn't sure how to broach the subject without, um, explaining how I know. [ goat no good at lying ] And given my own reluctance, any other Leader with that knowledge would probably be the same...

[recrowns]

[ . . . . ]

For what it's worth, I think that by now almost every Leader should know what I've done - the only one I'm uncertain of is Swan, because I'm not sure if Taako trusts me enough to avoid lying. Though only Wolf, Tiger, and Fox should know that I'm on your team.

I've sent others to ask their leaders and I hope to collect the information by the end of the week -

But Hikaru came up to me yesterday, charging in and telling me the dead could be revived. So I was wondering if she'd heard it from you...

[retellers]

... Well, I wonder. You're not the only one I told, since a few of my team members came to speak with me yesterday. So while I told them to be cautious with that knowledge, perhaps word is getting around among those they trust... It's not impossible that another Leader learned when I did, at least.

[recrowns]

That's what I was wondering.

When the animal icon on my PHS is blinking - does that mean something? Did that appear for anyone besides me?

[retellers]

It seems that it happened for everyone on my team. I think it was because I regained some of my memories. Though none of my team members came to see me because of that specifically.

[recrowns]

[he nods along with that]

Rabbit's team didn't get it - so that means that no one on Rabbit's team killed. I'll look into the rest.

It's good to know though.

[retellers]

Good luck. I hope your investigation bears fruit... You seem to be very good at forming connections, at least.

[recrowns]

[there's just a little bit of a smile at that]

Someone else has been telling me that lately....

I like people. I think I'm just fortunate in the sense that they seem to like me too.

[retellers]

Despite what you have done, you are an easy person to like.

[recrowns]

[ . . . . . .

is he?

there's something cloudy in his expression at that and he seems like he wants to avoid saying something but

the fucking effect - ]

... are you sure?

[retellers]

[ they seem taken aback by being questioned, before it shifts into nervousness. ] Um... I suppose I cannot speak for everyone else... but at least I am in no position to judge you.

[recrowns]

[ . . . . . right. soo-won pauses at that, a complicated look on his face, before he just offers up a bit of a saddened smile and he shakes his head]

.... one of the memories that they did leave me with was the first day that I saw Yona. I was a child and she was just a baby, hardly even a year old.

She and her mother were closely guarded, but I snuck in anyway because I wanted to visit her - I thought she must've been lonely. I thought that her red hair was so soft and cute, so I pet her head while she was sleeping.

Though I was discovered and her father came to drag me out and return me to my mother - he'd said simply that he got an unpleasant feeling from me.

[and soo-won, with a memory far too sharp for his age, never seemed to forget it. neither did his mother, who wrote it in his memoir.]

Some days I wonder what wins out - that unpleasant feeling... or how much people may like me.

[retellers]

[ ... ] Perhaps it was a moment of weakness on his part... but those are cruel words to say within a child's earshot. [ goat reaches to take soo-won's hand. ] It may be a cold comfort coming from me, but I have never felt that from you.

[recrowns]

[ . . . . ]

Weakness is human. [a beat] I've read his memoir, a letter to my mother. Some parts are a little less clear than others but... It's alright.

I recognize that he never would've accepted me.

[because of his blood? because of his father? yet soo-won's words are only soft, and they lack anger. he holds onto goat's hand and works up a gentle smile]

... thank you for your sentiment regardless. It's alright. I'm not someone who can afford to be saddened about what people think of me. It's all rather deserved, after all.

[retellers]

... "Cannot afford to be saddened" and "am not saddened" are two different things. One is the absence of feeling, and the other is an unwillingness to admit it. Which is it, for you?

[recrowns]

[ . . . . ]

Even if I'm sad, what difference does it make?

When I am the one who makes these choices, accepting the sadness and responsibility for what I've done is the least I can do.

[so perhaps it is less that he fails to acknowledge his own sadness - but rather doesn't see a point in truly expressing it]

[retellers]

[ ... ] Well, that is something I can understand. Just do not mistake harshness to oneself as reparation or responsibility.