AUDIENCE: SOO-WON

[retellers]

Comments

[recrowns]

[ . . . . . .

is he?

there's something cloudy in his expression at that and he seems like he wants to avoid saying something but

the fucking effect - ]

... are you sure?

[retellers]

[ they seem taken aback by being questioned, before it shifts into nervousness. ] Um... I suppose I cannot speak for everyone else... but at least I am in no position to judge you.

[recrowns]

[ . . . . . right. soo-won pauses at that, a complicated look on his face, before he just offers up a bit of a saddened smile and he shakes his head]

.... one of the memories that they did leave me with was the first day that I saw Yona. I was a child and she was just a baby, hardly even a year old.

She and her mother were closely guarded, but I snuck in anyway because I wanted to visit her - I thought she must've been lonely. I thought that her red hair was so soft and cute, so I pet her head while she was sleeping.

Though I was discovered and her father came to drag me out and return me to my mother - he'd said simply that he got an unpleasant feeling from me.

[and soo-won, with a memory far too sharp for his age, never seemed to forget it. neither did his mother, who wrote it in his memoir.]

Some days I wonder what wins out - that unpleasant feeling... or how much people may like me.

[retellers]

[ ... ] Perhaps it was a moment of weakness on his part... but those are cruel words to say within a child's earshot. [ goat reaches to take soo-won's hand. ] It may be a cold comfort coming from me, but I have never felt that from you.

[recrowns]

[ . . . . ]

Weakness is human. [a beat] I've read his memoir, a letter to my mother. Some parts are a little less clear than others but... It's alright.

I recognize that he never would've accepted me.

[because of his blood? because of his father? yet soo-won's words are only soft, and they lack anger. he holds onto goat's hand and works up a gentle smile]

... thank you for your sentiment regardless. It's alright. I'm not someone who can afford to be saddened about what people think of me. It's all rather deserved, after all.

[retellers]

... "Cannot afford to be saddened" and "am not saddened" are two different things. One is the absence of feeling, and the other is an unwillingness to admit it. Which is it, for you?

[recrowns]

[ . . . . ]

Even if I'm sad, what difference does it make?

When I am the one who makes these choices, accepting the sadness and responsibility for what I've done is the least I can do.

[so perhaps it is less that he fails to acknowledge his own sadness - but rather doesn't see a point in truly expressing it]

[retellers]

[ ... ] Well, that is something I can understand. Just do not mistake harshness to oneself as reparation or responsibility.

[recrowns]

[ . . . there's just a bit of a laugh at that, and his expression picks up at least]

I try to find enjoyment where I can, whether I deserve it or not.

[and he squeezes goat's hand]

The world is too fascinating for me to be able to help myself. So it's alright. It's not as though I do not partake in what happiness I can.

[retellers]

[ he glances down at their linked hands. ] ... That's good, at least.

[recrowns]

[soo-won tilts his head at that, offering a gentle smile]

You needn't worry so much.

Everyone does but... I can carry this much rather easily.

[retellers]

I can't help worrying, though.

[recrowns]

.... well, I suppose that's your kindness too.

[he doesn't seem to mind too much]

I suppose it's just a bit surprising. Most people just take my word for things at home - but I think that might've been the power difference.

[worrying over a king sounds silly]

[retellers]

Is it lonely?

[recrowns]

[ . . . . .

this

makes him struggle a bit because he - knows what he wants to say? he wants to say that no, he's not very lonely, because he's surrounded by people all the time. he cares for those people, and they care for him - there's loyalty and fondness that binds them.

but.]

.... sometimes I find myself missing the days in which I could only be Soo-won, rather than His Majesty.

But those days are behind me, I'm afraid.

[retellers]

... Indeed. As times change, so does one's position, and the ways people respond to you, good or bad. [ ... ] I imagine things are more complicated now, as king.

[recrowns]

.... well, I'm a bit used to it.

[and at this, his smile seems to settle - the sadness that was in his eyes tapers off. if this has ever been an injury, it seems like it's one that's scarred over.]

People have expected great things of me ever since I was young.

It's just that... the people who didn't ever want anything more from me - they're now out of my reach.

[retellers]

... I cannot say I know what that's like, but... Is it because of you killing the previous king?

[recrowns]

.... yes.

[a beat and then - ]

He was Yona's father. And my best friend - he adored both the king and Yona. So when I killed him, I knew I would end up losing them both.

[though.

he can't help but feel.]

... Goat.

Why am I sharing so much about myself today?

[retellers]

[ he stares blankly. ] Are you? [ he just thought soo-won was opening up to him... ]

[recrowns]

I am. And it's not just with you - it's with a few others. I find myself saying more about myself... even though I hesitate.

And normally I don't hesitate.

[normally he's very aware of every piece of information that he shares.

so.]

Does one of the Leaders have the power to compel people to do something out of character? Like how you have the power to enter people's dreams? Or is this another odd manipulation of this place?

[he just

has to ask because he's noticing this about himself]

[retellers]

[ he thinks for a bit. ] Not that I know of... though it's not as if there's any rule stating that we must be open and honest about our abilities.

[recrowns]

Of course not.

Is there any chance that my fellow participants might have any abilities that they're keeping close to the chest?

[retellers]

It's possible, I suppose...

[recrowns]

Is that so...

[ . . . ]

Mm, alright. I understand. I'll investigate more into it. I can't say I'm particularly fond of being made to feel strangely this week but -

This is.... at least somewhat innocuous.