1. Comment with your character. 2. Receive comments from others. 3. Reply to their comments with long ballads and explanations of your characters' relationship throughout the game. 4. Suffer as we have suffered over your CR.
i know we have that one pc where we've been backtagging for ages but. me looking at the message kano sent hansa like WHAT is THIS like SOME KIND OF FAMILY CODE?? KANO EXPLAIN. (hansa voice) i don't know what i expected sending a message to this kid,
IT WAS IN RESPONSE TO HANSA'S ORIGINAL MESSAGE I'M CRYING it was the number of people on which team that was currently dead in the graveyard and how many kills each team has and I was sitting there going "wow! sure hope Crystal figures it out and doesn't just think this is some cute message about Kano's family!!" but oh well!!!! kano knowing the messages get censored so he thought he'd find a clever workaround ):
You're right, if anybody else had asked Kano to hand over his scalpels during trial they would have gotten zero scalpels, Alex only got one because he liked her enough to give her one. Anyways, Alex was number 2 in Kano's rankings for a long time bc Mob is permanently in the number one spot and nobody is allowed to dethrone him, but for Kano, Alex felt a lot like an older sister and the one person Kano loved more than anybody else in the world after his mother died when he was little is his older sister. It was less about needing to be taken care of, since he very much does things on his own, but more that no matter how he was towards Alex, he never got the sense that she was ever angry at him or disliked him, even when she yells at him when he purposely does something he knows would make people mad. She played with him and tolerated him and listened to him and honestly sort of treated him like you would a feral cat, where you sit in the same room together and share the space and enjoyed each other's company without actually doing anything and he liked that a lot. There were times that he just sort of fell quiet and didn't say anything and she never pushed him and he like that too- the fact that he could just exist in that space and not have to perform and that was nice too, it was nice not having to perform around Alex. Even when he told her about being a monster she made it feel okay- she said it was complicated and it is, and she didn't try to say that he's human, she said that being a monster is complicated and hard to understand but they can be good too and she's right. She was very accepting, and one of the reasons Kano loved his sister so much was because of how accepting she is. idk if it ever happened but after the trial, Kano asked Sumi to give Alex the doll he had, which was of his sister, because he wanted to preserve the feelings he has for his sister and Alex was the only person he could trust to do so and take care of something like that without making a big deal about it. Same with the photo towards endgame, Kano didn't think that the dead would be revived because there was no proof it would even happen and he doesn't like hanging up his hopes, so he gave that photo to Alex as physical proof that he was happy at some point in his life and nothing- God, fate, nothing- could erase that, even if he disappeared, there would be physical proof on the other side. If he hadn't died so early in the game, Kano would have found some way to glue himself to Alex's side as his sort-of older sister, yeah.
KANO WAS DEAD HE SHOULD NOT HAVE but anyways... Kano was immediately wary of Chiron bc of the whole centaur thing, since outside of the eye ability stuff that's largely a mystery to him, he comes from a normal world with normal everythings and no centaurs so he looked at Chiron and went "oh." He judges people, but he makes a very specific attempt not to judge people based on appearance due to being treated as a monster just for how he looked as a child and promising he would never do that to others, so unfortunately Kano messed with Chiron bc he was very very pragmatic all the time haha... Serious people are very hard to deal with! He doesn't know what to do! The one thing that Kano did respect Chiron a lot for though was the fact that he tells him "no" instead of just going with the flow all the time. He respected that Chiron will very literally pick him up in order to get him to stop, if that's what it took. His life feels like it's spiraling out of control all the time so somebody actually making it stop takes him by surprise and it's nice, actually. Also in the graveyard cyao Kano's plan was going to be to steal the urn right out of the woman's hands and jump on Chiron's back and make him run and make them both fugitives, he was very convinced that would work.
Kano only has the emotional capacity to love one or two people at a time and his heart is completely taken by his brother and his sister and Mob reminded Kano of his brother when he was little and that's why he was number one the entire game, basically Kano's rankings aligns a lot with how he associated people with his siblings and Mob was his little brother. Plain, unassuming, painfully shy, socially awkward, a good kid... but the number one thing that stood out about Mob was that he wanted to change and he puts all this effort into changing and that's also how Kano saw his brother, as somebody who was weak and a crybaby and was scared of the world, working hard and becoming the person Kano is most proud of, somebody who is so hardworking and patient and kind and easygoing. He saw that same potential in Mob and so he could never really be mean to him, he wanted to encourage him, he wanted Mob to grow up to be the best he can be because Kano knows that it's possible and he wants that for him. They talked about change and both wanting to and not being able to, and Mob was the only person that Kano felt who understood how hard it is to change- at that you have to be ready to change. Like some people seemed to accept it when he said it's because of his circumstances that he needs to be what he is, but think that once it's over he can just flip and switch and be a Good Boy instead and that's not how it works. But it's funny because through Mob, Kano got to relive a more simpler time in his life, when it was just him and his siblings and no parents or other family and he was the big brother, he did a lot of encouraging and a lot of taking care of the other two and he does have the capacity to be a good kid, except he can only be that towards people he really loves and in this place that was Mob and nobody else.
Swan: Vezda was mean to me once ): Kano: Say no more
HONESTLY... he would have been okay with Bucky otherwise... They'd barely talked before trial happened and even then Kano could understand why Bucky did what he did— he knows that hanging him upside down from the ankle is what any person in the room would do if they could, but Bucky was the only one with both the strength and the gall to do it. At this point, because of that, there was respect for Bucky and not resentment. He was very aware of his own actions and what his refusal to comply would mean but he didn't care, so... things happened... trial happened, scalpels happened, he died and was okay with it and everything was fine.
And then he was talking with Swan later and she mentioned not everybody liked her and he was so offended on her behalf because he liked Swan, and if there is one thing that upsets Kano it is when the people he likes are upset. The letter he had passed onto Bucky that said "stop" was entirely meant to be a mind game and nothing else, it was Kano thinking he could get into Bucky's head like... somebody who sees "stop" would have a dozen things immediately spring into mind of what they shouldn't be doing, so there's guilt and also paranoia over who knows about it and how and what they might do if he doesn't stop. Bucky was supposed to live long enough for Kano to occasionally send more letters to haunt him but that didn't happen!!! He'd also hijacked Raven's letter to Hikaru to tell her not to trust Bucky and Hilda because Bucky was mean to Swan, also I 100% thought Hilda's name would be censored, and also Kano wrote his letters under the assumption that if it's a personal letter like the one Hikaru got clearly is, she wasn't going to share it around to anybody else. He was trying to preemptively destroy any budding friendship between Hikaru and Bucky because he knows Hikaru aggressively befriends anything that breathes and Bucky does not deserve nice things. He had no idea this letter destroyed Bucky's life and also apparently Claude's for different reasons, he was just trying to be mean to Hikaru and somehow collateral damage happened. But then he was purposely mean and petty towards Bucky in the graveyard because Bucky wronged Swan the one time and so he must suffer the rest of his life for it, yeah. For all that happened, though, Kano does not hate Bucky for any pain he inflicts upon Kano himself— Kano's relationship with pain is like... platonic masochism... he had an abusive childhood and was always beaten to the point that he would only wear long sleeves and pants even in summer so nobody could see, but he also identifies very strongly with that pain and associates it with a sense of self. So being beat up isn't a deterrent and Kano takes great pride in being able to get into people's heads and push their buttons and manipulate their feelings. Kano takes it upon himself to destroy a perceived enemy who wronged his loved ones even though he is wrong and they did nothing and are completely innocent, yeah.
Also the only reason Bucky went up two ranks is because Kano learned about two murderers he hated more (':
Usagiiiiiiiiii..... I wish we could've done more as roommates but I like to imagine that Kano squirreled away lots of food back to their room for Usagi during the one week they were roommates, because he seems to encounter people who kept trying to feed him and he isn't extremely enthusiastic about food while Usagi is, so seeing her really happy and excited over it would've made him happy too. Ori what's the point of handwaving week 0 roommates, shhhhh let me have this. I think if Kano hadn't been scapegoated and died, Usagi would have been one of two people besides Mob that Kano would eventually stop teasing and being mean to and actually be more encouraging towards, partly because she cries so easily and he's just AAAAAAAAAAA towards people who actually cry, he can't stand it, he would immediately backpedal and apologize and do anything he can do fix it, so he wouldn't be able to bully Usagi anymore ): She reminded him a lot of Mary so he was inclined to like her from the start too, but also he was so hopeful for her to be the sort to go out there and make fast friends with everybody and be invited to sleepovers all the time so he could have the room to himself but that didn't happen haha instead it was just him sitting on the bed feeding her cold fries he'd spent so long pestering Lup into making for him and he didn't even finish them.
MY HEART WHEN OCHAKO FORGOT PLUS ULTRA i frowned so hard......... Kano's older sister was very into superheroes and he and his siblings played being heroes all the time when they were little, so every time somebody mentioned being a hero (and there were so many people here) Kano was immediately pinged— but for Ochako, it was her saying that she isn't a pro hero yet and that she's still in training and she didn't sound very confident in her abilities and so Kano tried to be more encouraging towards her than anything. She's very optimistic! Which Kano doesn't believe in! He wasn't exactly relying on her, but he had some hope that if he encouraged her, she would pull off some superhero finishing move and destroy the Realm and find a way for them all to get back home before the end of the week, because even though he's tired and disillusioned and doesn't believe in heroes anymore, a part of him wants to and a part of him wants to believe in impossible miracles. In the end, it didn't happen, but that's okay too. When Ochako arrived in the graveyard and didn't recognize Plus Ultra, that was the point where Kano discarded all hope and went full on depression inside so that was fun too. He was relieved that Ochako's optimism never died, though, please never let go of that.
I wish I got to bully Alphi more..... Kano didn't get to talk to him enough to form much of an opinion other than being very slightly frustrated at the way he speaks because it makes Kano had to stop and listen and pay attention, when he is so used to being in "control" of the conversation in terms of just prattling on and dragging people into his pace and leading it where he needs it to go. Alphi was one of the few who was mildly resistant to Kano's everything which he appreciated! but he eventually always gave into Kano's everything so he was "oh" all over again haha. He thought Alphi was weird, and a challenge to bully and thus more fun. But he also didn't know what ice cream was, which made Kano go "oh no" and if he stayed alive he probably would have had fun teaching Alphi all sorts of incorrect things he had fun doing with Rabbit and Yona.
LIKE LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS CHILD he met her holding stuffed animals??? she was supposed to be just some kid that he teases because that's the only way he knows how to interact with people, but also the whole first conversation was just... Kano spins lies and thinks they're harmless and is very ends justifies the means in that all he'd intended to do was make Hikaru that winged fish that she wanted because it might make her happy or whatever and if he takes it upon himself, then she doesn't have to feel bad for stealing or can blame it on him and it'll be fine. So when she finds him later and gets so mad about him lying to her, he expected that but also thought she was making a big deal out of nothing— who did his lies hurt? what did it matter? Here and so many times after, Hikaru makes such a big deal out of things that aren't a big deal and that frustrated Kano endlessly because he does not want his words or actions or self to be a big deal- to be important- he just wants them to be. He can't even say that lie was for her sake because he would never dox himself like that but man was that a "wow, see if I do anything nice for people ever again" moment, except he continues doing what he does anyways. Hikaru made such a big deal about learning his name and trying to understand him and Kano hated that so much because a name is meaningless and he is a void who has no real personality or likes or dislikes or sense of self or any of that and nobody likes being scrutinized and Kano is very very very very contradictory in that he hates and wants the same things and many times hates and wants the exact opposite at the same time. He hates people looking at him, but desperately wants people to see him. He is a compulsive liar who cannot help but tell lies, but he exaggerates them and desperately wants people to notice the fact that he can't help it instead of brushing him off. He smiles all the time and insists that he's fine and happy and having fun, but desperately wants people to realize this is a lie too and that he's really hurting inside. From the very start, Hikaru saw that hurt in him and said so to his face- and he could not face it or admit to it or do anything but turn away from it, because this is the tower that he's built and trapped himself within. Later in the novel route where he's from he'll break down and cry to his brother about how he'd always wanted somebody to see the real him, but here is Hikaru and she is a stranger and he was very scared. She relentlessly chased after him even though he kept pushing her away even to the end of the game and that hateful stubbornness is the one thing that he appreciates the most about her, even if he does hate it, she never gave up on him and he's been given up on all his life and has given up on himself but then here is Hikaru. Hateful. But he did appreciate it. Even when she admitted to him about using her stone to make him kind, he hated that but he did not hate her- he could understand why she did it and that he is the sort of despicable person who you have to force kindness upon in order to make him behave like a normal human being, he took that hatred upon himself and saw it as such. Deep down inside, he is kind; he does everything for the sake of his family and is very kind in his own way, so rather than hating Hikaru for what she did, he was sort of sad that she wanted him to be kind, as if he doesn't hold onto that kindness at all times already. It's a very indirect sort of kindness... but it exists... it makes sense to himself and nobody else... But also later when she arrived at the graveyard and was saying that about how she won't hit him because he never gave her a good reason to, just as he never hit her even though she gave him a good reason to, he was very very close to telling her that he did not hate her for the stone thing and that it made it easier to talk to people that night and also he got to talk about his true feelings on things a little and some weight was lifted off his shoulders and maybe he should be a little grateful for the effects of that stone, but he did not say anything because that would mean talking about himself and this isn't about him, this is about Hikaru and why she's so distraught and so he tried to keep the conversation on her and kept that to himself. But there was that thought. He tried very hard to keep the conversation on her whenever they talk but she kept turning it back on him and that was also very frustrating for him haha but he is very deliberate in his way of speaking and Hikaru caught onto a lot, how he smiles all the time and smiles when he lies, how he can drop the smile and become serious but if he's not taken seriously then the smile will come right back up like a mask, like he's not used to it and is testing the water and seeing how the other person is going to react. He hides a lot of truth in stories- like the play and the constellations- because a story is inherently both fiction and nonfiction and it's very easy to back off and go "it's just a story! did you believe me? stupid." when things get too real, but there is an understanding that all stories are rooted in truth, and so he can tell his truths while embedding them within fabricated lies, a compromise. He treats things as a game for largely the same reason, in that there's a very deliberate message he's trying to convey, whether it's earning his name or playing charades, but it's enveloped in fun and games and "it's just a game, don't take it so seriously" when he wants to back out. His existence is a lot like that, just enough truth to not be written off completely and to keep people second guessing, and Hikaru is able to learn but not approaching him directly, but by playing his games and telling stories with him and like this it's easier for him to communicate too. He makes things very complicated! on purpose! and I'm very sorry all the time! Know that I was very very proud when she took his charades and turned them into yes or no questions though. I don't want to talk about the dragon play but that was also a thing... when he said that he would answer her questions in exchange for something, he'd decided this was the one and only time he would answer as truthfully as he can, because it is under the guise of a play, but also he wanted to know what was the most important thing Hikaru wanted to know- and it was understanding him. Which he hated! but had accepted by this point and decided that as long as she played along, he would allow some give and take. This entire game felt like a fever dream Nik I can't remember anything except Kano being existentially tired and also me. Hikaru trying to figure him out is very exhausting when he doesn't know who he is, him with all his memories intact but still with nothing inside, Hikaru with swiss cheese memory but with her heart and soul brimming nonetheless, it exhausted him. Between setting things on fire a lot of the time in the graveyard was probably him sleeping or lying there pretending to be asleep probably. Uhh... cyoa. I mentioned before that Kano's was intended to be more mindfucky but Hikaru refused to play with the snake- with Kano- the streets converged to only one path when he asked that because he wanted to make a point that this is his world, that regardless of what Hikaru chose, there is only one way forward and that any agency she thought she had was an illusion, which is how Kano always tried to orchestrate interactions with people, manipulating what he can and snaring people into his flow and leading conversations where he wanted. But Hikaru would not play, so instead of learning more about why he is who he is, she got to learn who he used to be, who the Shuuya is who is lost in the darkness and who Kano believed would never be found again, but Hikaru did, twice, and made him better for it. But also that entire thread is embarrassing if he has to remember it too so he will pretend it never happened and never talk to Hikaru again. Her cyoa was embarrassing for him too? He's just easily embarrassed. But he was very glad to see his family again, even if it made him painfully aware that this is fake and not real and he should not get so hung up about these versions of his siblings who are not the same as the real ones. They're just in his head and he knows it but he can't help but be fond, he can't help but love them and I'm glad I got to write them, the way Kano can be quietly soft behind their backs as long as nobody is looking. Knowing all this happened to Hikaru, though, he was just really... really relieved it was her as a knight and not him... NOT THAT HE WOULD WISH THIS UPON HER BUT LIKE he very clearly did not want anything to do with this and would have doomed the Pillar haha... for him, this cyoa was very reaffiming to him that all these things that he hates about himself isn't necessarily bad, it is part of his kindness, and he is steadfast in what he believes. But it also reaffimed the chasm between him and his siblings he loves so much, how he would protect them with his life but cannot trust them to do the same- does not want them to do the same. She talked a lot about them having to work together and he could not bring himself to do it, he cannot put people on the same level as him when he wants to simultaneously elevate his loved ones but also keep them protectively behind him at all times. He's going into that battle knowing he's doomed to fail, really, unable to work together so much as he's going to play puppet master, he was going to use the wind to clear the storm clouds so nobody gets zapped, also Seto who can control water to douse the Pillar and put out the fire wings and bring her down to the ground, and Kido who is very strong and can just twist the Pillar's arms behind her and keep her captive. Yeah. That was his master plan. He would not have killed her; he is very good at directing traffic but he cannot kill Hikaru, so they are going to kidnap the Pillar. "Take the life of the Pillar" is all the instruction he got so they're leaving with her life, goodbye, this totally counts. Also by the end of trial it stopped mattering, but through endgame Kano tried very hard to give Hikaru opportunities to learn the Worm and nothing panned out and I was constantly staring at the sky HAHA He was really hopeful for Hajime before she died, asked Goat if he knew it before realizing that Goat knew nothing about anything, he asked Sora but Sora didn't know what it was and suggested asking Lup but Kano never got around to it, he tried to teach Elsa but depressed Elsa was not going to do the worm in the graveyard so he tried to teach Soo-won but Soo-won was having none of his bullshit. He thought Hikaru would just ask him??? He wouldn't've considered it cheating; finding loopholes in his games would have impressed him more than anything, and being too proud to take advantage of this clear cheat just makes him think she's proud and stupid. But also if she had come up to him and done the Worm at any point, he would have laughed in her face and walked off without saying his name, yeah.
Honestly I was too exhausted to give Kano a timely message and for that I'm an utter failure, but at least Rufus got to thank him for the stone. I am a fool . . . I only deserve a sentence of tl;cr.
kano
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also stop running from me on the endgame log you coward.
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21,17
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2,5
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Kano: Say no more
HONESTLY... he would have been okay with Bucky otherwise... They'd barely talked before trial happened and even then Kano could understand why Bucky did what he did— he knows that hanging him upside down from the ankle is what any person in the room would do if they could, but Bucky was the only one with both the strength and the gall to do it. At this point, because of that, there was respect for Bucky and not resentment. He was very aware of his own actions and what his refusal to comply would mean but he didn't care, so... things happened... trial happened, scalpels happened, he died and was okay with it and everything was fine.
And then he was talking with Swan later and she mentioned not everybody liked her and he was so offended on her behalf because he liked Swan, and if there is one thing that upsets Kano it is when the people he likes are upset. The letter he had passed onto Bucky that said "stop" was entirely meant to be a mind game and nothing else, it was Kano thinking he could get into Bucky's head like... somebody who sees "stop" would have a dozen things immediately spring into mind of what they shouldn't be doing, so there's guilt and also paranoia over who knows about it and how and what they might do if he doesn't stop. Bucky was supposed to live long enough for Kano to occasionally send more letters to haunt him but that didn't happen!!! He'd also hijacked Raven's letter to Hikaru to tell her not to trust Bucky and Hilda because Bucky was mean to Swan, also I 100% thought Hilda's name would be censored, and also Kano wrote his letters under the assumption that if it's a personal letter like the one Hikaru got clearly is, she wasn't going to share it around to anybody else. He was trying to preemptively destroy any budding friendship between Hikaru and Bucky because he knows Hikaru aggressively befriends anything that breathes and Bucky does not deserve nice things. He had no idea this letter destroyed Bucky's life and also apparently Claude's for different reasons, he was just trying to be mean to Hikaru and somehow collateral damage happened. But then he was purposely mean and petty towards Bucky in the graveyard because Bucky wronged Swan the one time and so he must suffer the rest of his life for it, yeah. For all that happened, though, Kano does not hate Bucky for any pain he inflicts upon Kano himself— Kano's relationship with pain is like... platonic masochism... he had an abusive childhood and was always beaten to the point that he would only wear long sleeves and pants even in summer so nobody could see, but he also identifies very strongly with that pain and associates it with a sense of self. So being beat up isn't a deterrent and Kano takes great pride in being able to get into people's heads and push their buttons and manipulate their feelings. Kano takes it upon himself to destroy a perceived enemy who wronged his loved ones even though he is wrong and they did nothing and are completely innocent, yeah.
Also the only reason Bucky went up two ranks is because Kano learned about two murderers he hated more (':
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LIKE LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS CHILD he met her holding stuffed animals??? she was supposed to be just some kid that he teases because that's the only way he knows how to interact with people, but also the whole first conversation was just... Kano spins lies and thinks they're harmless and is very ends justifies the means in that all he'd intended to do was make Hikaru that winged fish that she wanted because it might make her happy or whatever and if he takes it upon himself, then she doesn't have to feel bad for stealing or can blame it on him and it'll be fine. So when she finds him later and gets so mad about him lying to her, he expected that but also thought she was making a big deal out of nothing— who did his lies hurt? what did it matter? Here and so many times after, Hikaru makes such a big deal out of things that aren't a big deal and that frustrated Kano endlessly because he does not want his words or actions or self to be a big deal- to be important- he just wants them to be. He can't even say that lie was for her sake because he would never dox himself like that but man was that a "wow, see if I do anything nice for people ever again" moment, except he continues doing what he does anyways. Hikaru made such a big deal about learning his name and trying to understand him and Kano hated that so much because a name is meaningless and he is a void who has no real personality or likes or dislikes or sense of self or any of that and nobody likes being scrutinized and Kano is very very very very contradictory in that he hates and wants the same things and many times hates and wants the exact opposite at the same time. He hates people looking at him, but desperately wants people to see him. He is a compulsive liar who cannot help but tell lies, but he exaggerates them and desperately wants people to notice the fact that he can't help it instead of brushing him off. He smiles all the time and insists that he's fine and happy and having fun, but desperately wants people to realize this is a lie too and that he's really hurting inside. From the very start, Hikaru saw that hurt in him and said so to his face- and he could not face it or admit to it or do anything but turn away from it, because this is the tower that he's built and trapped himself within. Later in the novel route where he's from he'll break down and cry to his brother about how he'd always wanted somebody to see the real him, but here is Hikaru and she is a stranger and he was very scared. She relentlessly chased after him even though he kept pushing her away even to the end of the game and that hateful stubbornness is the one thing that he appreciates the most about her, even if he does hate it, she never gave up on him and he's been given up on all his life and has given up on himself but then here is Hikaru. Hateful. But he did appreciate it. Even when she admitted to him about using her stone to make him kind, he hated that but he did not hate her- he could understand why she did it and that he is the sort of despicable person who you have to force kindness upon in order to make him behave like a normal human being, he took that hatred upon himself and saw it as such. Deep down inside, he is kind; he does everything for the sake of his family and is very kind in his own way, so rather than hating Hikaru for what she did, he was sort of sad that she wanted him to be kind, as if he doesn't hold onto that kindness at all times already. It's a very indirect sort of kindness... but it exists... it makes sense to himself and nobody else... But also later when she arrived at the graveyard and was saying that about how she won't hit him because he never gave her a good reason to, just as he never hit her even though she gave him a good reason to, he was very very close to telling her that he did not hate her for the stone thing and that it made it easier to talk to people that night and also he got to talk about his true feelings on things a little and some weight was lifted off his shoulders and maybe he should be a little grateful for the effects of that stone, but he did not say anything because that would mean talking about himself and this isn't about him, this is about Hikaru and why she's so distraught and so he tried to keep the conversation on her and kept that to himself. But there was that thought. He tried very hard to keep the conversation on her whenever they talk but she kept turning it back on him and that was also very frustrating for him haha but he is very deliberate in his way of speaking and Hikaru caught onto a lot, how he smiles all the time and smiles when he lies, how he can drop the smile and become serious but if he's not taken seriously then the smile will come right back up like a mask, like he's not used to it and is testing the water and seeing how the other person is going to react. He hides a lot of truth in stories- like the play and the constellations- because a story is inherently both fiction and nonfiction and it's very easy to back off and go "it's just a story! did you believe me? stupid." when things get too real, but there is an understanding that all stories are rooted in truth, and so he can tell his truths while embedding them within fabricated lies, a compromise. He treats things as a game for largely the same reason, in that there's a very deliberate message he's trying to convey, whether it's earning his name or playing charades, but it's enveloped in fun and games and "it's just a game, don't take it so seriously" when he wants to back out. His existence is a lot like that, just enough truth to not be written off completely and to keep people second guessing, and Hikaru is able to learn but not approaching him directly, but by playing his games and telling stories with him and like this it's easier for him to communicate too. He makes things very complicated! on purpose! and I'm very sorry all the time! Know that I was very very proud when she took his charades and turned them into yes or no questions though. I don't want to talk about the dragon play but that was also a thing... when he said that he would answer her questions in exchange for something, he'd decided this was the one and only time he would answer as truthfully as he can, because it is under the guise of a play, but also he wanted to know what was the most important thing Hikaru wanted to know- and it was understanding him. Which he hated! but had accepted by this point and decided that as long as she played along, he would allow some give and take. This entire game felt like a fever dream Nik I can't remember anything except Kano being existentially tired and also me. Hikaru trying to figure him out is very exhausting when he doesn't know who he is, him with all his memories intact but still with nothing inside, Hikaru with swiss cheese memory but with her heart and soul brimming nonetheless, it exhausted him. Between setting things on fire a lot of the time in the graveyard was probably him sleeping or lying there pretending to be asleep probably. Uhh... cyoa. I mentioned before that Kano's was intended to be more mindfucky but Hikaru refused to play with the snake- with Kano- the streets converged to only one path when he asked that because he wanted to make a point that this is his world, that regardless of what Hikaru chose, there is only one way forward and that any agency she thought she had was an illusion, which is how Kano always tried to orchestrate interactions with people, manipulating what he can and snaring people into his flow and leading conversations where he wanted. But Hikaru would not play, so instead of learning more about why he is who he is, she got to learn who he used to be, who the Shuuya is who is lost in the darkness and who Kano believed would never be found again, but Hikaru did, twice, and made him better for it. But also that entire thread is embarrassing if he has to remember it too so he will pretend it never happened and never talk to Hikaru again. Her cyoa was embarrassing for him too? He's just easily embarrassed. But he was very glad to see his family again, even if it made him painfully aware that this is fake and not real and he should not get so hung up about these versions of his siblings who are not the same as the real ones. They're just in his head and he knows it but he can't help but be fond, he can't help but love them and I'm glad I got to write them, the way Kano can be quietly soft behind their backs as long as nobody is looking. Knowing all this happened to Hikaru, though, he was just really... really relieved it was her as a knight and not him... NOT THAT HE WOULD WISH THIS UPON HER BUT LIKE he very clearly did not want anything to do with this and would have doomed the Pillar haha... for him, this cyoa was very reaffiming to him that all these things that he hates about himself isn't necessarily bad, it is part of his kindness, and he is steadfast in what he believes. But it also reaffimed the chasm between him and his siblings he loves so much, how he would protect them with his life but cannot trust them to do the same- does not want them to do the same. She talked a lot about them having to work together and he could not bring himself to do it, he cannot put people on the same level as him when he wants to simultaneously elevate his loved ones but also keep them protectively behind him at all times. He's going into that battle knowing he's doomed to fail, really, unable to work together so much as he's going to play puppet master, he was going to use the wind to clear the storm clouds so nobody gets zapped, also Seto who can control water to douse the Pillar and put out the fire wings and bring her down to the ground, and Kido who is very strong and can just twist the Pillar's arms behind her and keep her captive. Yeah. That was his master plan. He would not have killed her; he is very good at directing traffic but he cannot kill Hikaru, so they are going to kidnap the Pillar. "Take the life of the Pillar" is all the instruction he got so they're leaving with her life, goodbye, this totally counts. Also by the end of trial it stopped mattering, but through endgame Kano tried very hard to give Hikaru opportunities to learn the Worm and nothing panned out and I was constantly staring at the sky HAHA He was really hopeful for Hajime before she died, asked Goat if he knew it before realizing that Goat knew nothing about anything, he asked Sora but Sora didn't know what it was and suggested asking Lup but Kano never got around to it, he tried to teach Elsa but depressed Elsa was not going to do the worm in the graveyard so he tried to teach Soo-won but Soo-won was having none of his bullshit. He thought Hikaru would just ask him??? He wouldn't've considered it cheating; finding loopholes in his games would have impressed him more than anything, and being too proud to take advantage of this clear cheat just makes him think she's proud and stupid. But also if she had come up to him and done the Worm at any point, he would have laughed in her face and walked off without saying his name, yeah.
Re: 31,13
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25,18
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what is even the 10/21 or 11/21 categories
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15,8
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9,10