AUDIENCE: HANSA

[retellers]

Comments

week 2, tuesday

[retellers]

[ when hansa makes his wish... nothing happens!

assuming he eventually steps out of the planetarium, though, goat suddenly appears. ]

[robopriest]

[He actually jolts with some surprise, before frowning.]

You know, if you're going to stand a man up, you don't need to give him a heart attack on top of it.

[retellers]

Stand you up...?

[ they tilt their head, apparently uncomprehending. ]

My apologies. That was not my intention.

[robopriest]

You're never going to get a date if you act like that.

[And he pulls out a dumb cheap plastic necklace. It has a cool pirate doubloon on it, though.]

Anyways, bend your head down. Let me toss this on you. You need to get in the spirit like everyone else.

[retellers]

[ ???

they bend their head down even though they don't really understand what's going on, but. ]

[robopriest]

[Just tosses it on! He doesn't want to shock them both.]

Looks good on you, haha.

[retellers]

[ they apparently have no opinion on looking good. ]

I will accept this gift with gratitude, then.

[robopriest]

Not a problem.

[He claps his hands together.]

Now, before we begin. How old are you? And what are you? Man, woman, neither, something else? I put my foot in my mouth with another one of you, so I'm not going to make that mistake again.

[LOOKS OVER AT TIGER]

[retellers]

W-What...?

[ they look a little startled at the sudden questioning. ]

[robopriest]

...

[He sighs.]

That was too much, wasn't it. Though you're giving me a look like a scared baby deer...

[retellers]

I'm not sure why you're asking...

[robopriest]

I was talking with one of you and I made an offhand comment about their sex life and then, guess what, they're a sixteen year-old girl! Really awkward. Not something I want to repeat anytime soon.

[retellers]

Ah. You don't have to worry about that. I have no interest in such activities.

[ that was clearly the point hansa was trying to make ]

[robopriest]

...

[????]

Okay...? Good to know...?

[retellers]

[ they nod. yay, they're all on the same page now! ]

[robopriest]

[Hansa just. Looking into the camera like on the office.]

...Anyways. Anyways! How are you doing?

[retellers]

[ ...? ]

I am fine, but I'm sure that is not what you called me for to ask.

[robopriest]

Why not? Maybe I want to know our most powerful benefactor is like. You impressed a lot of people last week with that sword of yours.

[retellers]

Perhaps, but I don't believe you're here because you were "impressed".

Speak plainly. I will tell you as I have told Soo-won: I have no interest in false friendliness.

[robopriest]

You...you told Soo-won that?

[He stares...and then bursts out laughing? If the emotionshare is a thing for audience meetings too, then all Goat will feel is pure, carefree enthusiasm.]

Soo-won? Wow. Well, I mean, you're right. You shouldn't give people like that the time of day. But seriously, I have my questions and all...but I do want to get to know you. Sincerely. You're very interesting.

[retellers]

[ emotionshare is not a thing for the npcs, alas. ]

Am I...?

[robopriest]

[Sad.....]

Tell me, what part of "I'm old, have powers over the void, can summon a cool sword, and also have my adorable moments because I'm sort of naive to the ways of the modern world" isn't interesting?

[retellers]

[ hansa?? ]

I... what...?

[robopriest]

[HE'S TELLING IT LIKE IT IS GOAT, KEEP UP!!!]

...Its okay. I'm saying good stuff about you. Stop looking so startled.

[retellers]

Oh. Um, all right...