AUDIENCE: HANSA

[retellers]

Comments

[retellers]

[ they apparently have no opinion on looking good. ]

I will accept this gift with gratitude, then.

[robopriest]

Not a problem.

[He claps his hands together.]

Now, before we begin. How old are you? And what are you? Man, woman, neither, something else? I put my foot in my mouth with another one of you, so I'm not going to make that mistake again.

[LOOKS OVER AT TIGER]

[retellers]

W-What...?

[ they look a little startled at the sudden questioning. ]

[robopriest]

...

[He sighs.]

That was too much, wasn't it. Though you're giving me a look like a scared baby deer...

[retellers]

I'm not sure why you're asking...

[robopriest]

I was talking with one of you and I made an offhand comment about their sex life and then, guess what, they're a sixteen year-old girl! Really awkward. Not something I want to repeat anytime soon.

[retellers]

Ah. You don't have to worry about that. I have no interest in such activities.

[ that was clearly the point hansa was trying to make ]

[robopriest]

...

[????]

Okay...? Good to know...?

[retellers]

[ they nod. yay, they're all on the same page now! ]

[robopriest]

[Hansa just. Looking into the camera like on the office.]

...Anyways. Anyways! How are you doing?

[retellers]

[ ...? ]

I am fine, but I'm sure that is not what you called me for to ask.

[robopriest]

Why not? Maybe I want to know our most powerful benefactor is like. You impressed a lot of people last week with that sword of yours.

[retellers]

Perhaps, but I don't believe you're here because you were "impressed".

Speak plainly. I will tell you as I have told Soo-won: I have no interest in false friendliness.

[robopriest]

You...you told Soo-won that?

[He stares...and then bursts out laughing? If the emotionshare is a thing for audience meetings too, then all Goat will feel is pure, carefree enthusiasm.]

Soo-won? Wow. Well, I mean, you're right. You shouldn't give people like that the time of day. But seriously, I have my questions and all...but I do want to get to know you. Sincerely. You're very interesting.

[retellers]

[ emotionshare is not a thing for the npcs, alas. ]

Am I...?

[robopriest]

[Sad.....]

Tell me, what part of "I'm old, have powers over the void, can summon a cool sword, and also have my adorable moments because I'm sort of naive to the ways of the modern world" isn't interesting?

[retellers]

[ hansa?? ]

I... what...?

[robopriest]

[HE'S TELLING IT LIKE IT IS GOAT, KEEP UP!!!]

...Its okay. I'm saying good stuff about you. Stop looking so startled.

[retellers]

Oh. Um, all right...

[robopriest]

[He nods.]

Anyways, little Miss Tiger said that talking to you guys can also help you remember more. So if you have questions, don't hesitate to ask.

[retellers]

Questions? Like what?

[robopriest]

Well, maybe you're confused about what some of us say. Like, what's a microwave? What's texting? Stuff like that.

[retellers]

Ah. I don't know what either of those are.

[robopriest]

A microwave is an invention that lets you heat up food without using fire. And texting is what you do when you write people using the devices like what we have. Instataneous messages without using physical mail whatsoever.

[retellers]

I see... Humans really do come up with all sorts of things.