AUDIENCE: HANSA

[retellers]

Comments

[retellers]

It's mostly things like small arguments. Comments.

[ a pause ]

Some are, you know, deserved. I am a bit of a bitch.

[robopriest]

[...]

[He just reaches out to put a hand on her shoulder, smirking.]

Well, from one to another...you really aren't that bad. Honest.

[retellers]

[ there is a pause. ]

Well--yeah.

[ smooth. ]

[robopriest]

[oh tiger...]

It's good we had this talk. [hansa you would be a terrible parent. god.] Anyways...hey, if you remember you're sixteen, you have to remember other things, right?

[retellers]

I think it's, like... the Realm left us with certain impressions of ourselves? Like, if it took absolutely everything, then we'd probably be even worse at this than we already are. Imagine how annoying we'd be if we didn't even have personalities.

[ terrible. ]

But I remember my age, and that I'm human, but after that is when it gets into more 'what the fuck' territory. I can assume that wherever I'm from has to be somewhere that's familiar with the type of technology here, since I know what a computer and microwave are.

[robopriest]

I think I definitely appreciate you better with a personality.

[Who else would he wisecrack with! And be an asshole to????]

So you're a modern teenage girl. I see...I guess some of the others aren't as acquainted with the technology?

[retellers]

Goat.

[ she just. says it immediately. goat. ]

Pretty sure they still haven't discovered what a backspace is.

[robopriest]

Yes, they do seem....old. And rather powerful, but old. Clueless and old? Yeah.

[ROASTING GOAT HOURS 2K20]

[retellers]

Sometimes you're very old and also an infant at the same time.

[robopriest]

It's true. A child at heart...

[says a child at heart]

Are the rest modern, at least?

[retellers]

[ she frowns. ]

Probably. But then it turns into a case of whether my modern is the same as their modern. Could be a case of being from different worlds, maybe. It just gets hard to check since... we seem to remember pretty general things, but if it starts getting specific about where we're from, then it turns into a blank.

[robopriest]

I see. Its true. Even my modern isn't the same as everyone else's. It's not surprising you're in the same boat.

[retellers]

Pretty annoying.

But at least listening to you guys can give us an idea of what we may or may not be familiar with as a concept, since most of the time we won't even realize until it comes up in conversation.

[robopriest]

Really?

[Hmmmm.]

Do you want me to talk more about me, then? So you can realize more about you?

[retellers]

Sure, why not?

[robopriest]

Alright. How much do you know about me already?

[retellers]

Priest, something about demons?

[ a pause. ]

I try not to eavesdrop too much because you all have so many feelings and it kills me.

[robopriest]

Tsk, tsk. Didn't anyone tell you that eavesdropping is bad?

[Shaking his head.]

I guess you can hear whatever gossip I tell to others though, huh.

[retellers]

[ a grin. ]

Yup. But I really, really cannot stress how little I'm interested in most of it. I mostly just need to keep track of who's shit talking me.

[robopriest]

I'm guessing that's a pretty long list. [A beat.] Nothing against you, I mean, but people just can't handle your wonderful personality. Though I guess people won't be too happy after today, too...

[retellers]

Hey, at least I admit that we made a mistake. Better me than people yelling at Goat, I guess.

[ goat would cry. ]

[robopriest]

Goat really is a pure soul, huh...

[goat...........]

Anyways! Back to me. I sure am a priest. But I also do some extra work on the side. I fight demons and vampires and heretical things that wish to cause harm to humanity. Its definitely something any regular person could do.

[retellers]

[ please save goat.

but she listens, nodding her head slowly. ]

How do you fight them?

[robopriest]

[i meant to say "not something any regular person could do" but i'll leave that as a sarcastic comment of course]

Oh, by just punching them real hard.

[retellers]

Everything about this place is so immensely idiotic I honestly cannot tell if that's a joke or not.