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TL;CR MEME
1. Comment with your character.
2. Receive comments from others.
3. Reply to their comments with long ballads and explanations of your characters' relationship throughout the game.
4. Suffer as we have suffered over your CR.
1. Comment with your character.
2. Receive comments from others.
3. Reply to their comments with long ballads and explanations of your characters' relationship throughout the game.
4. Suffer as we have suffered over your CR.
Hansa
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1/2
"This life is mine, but this heart is yours. This smile is mine, but the reason is you."
Basically, Alex is the most important person in this entire game, for Hansa.
Like, of course Emet-Selch is important to him, and so is Chiron, and many others who Hansa likes very much, but like he told the immortals in their "arrangement" talk, Alex is the one he would fight for, and the one he would, by no means, give up on. Even if Emet-Selch had said something like "leave her and be with me" after their ten years together, Hansa would've straight up told him no. Even after ten years, seeing Alex again made all the feelings rush back, and...I'M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF.
Basically, I was super excited that Alex and Hansa had CR, because like you said! Becks CR! Finally! And then the mods just turned their gun at us and put them together for affection week. "Haha", I said. "This is cute but Hansa is still a whole priest who isn't used to reciprocation for anything he says". "Oh no this is actually really, really cute" I said, like a fool. The fact is, that Hansa himself is a very carefree character. He's someone who is stated to take joy in life, and enjoy what things are offered him. He's...almost a very pure, childish character, despite the fact that he's literally a living Church weapon who is considered a "first rate murderer" for what he does to vampires and the like. So while he liked Alex from the get-go, because hey, he has an eye, he appreciates beautiful ladies - their first (and incredibly dumb) thread during affection week was really unexpected for Hansa and was really the start of actual feelings. She was...funny, and silly, and teased him right back with his teases. Hansa in his canon seems to relish teasing others and making jokes but it seems more like he does it to surprise/annoy people than expecting anything in return, so the fact that they just bickered playfully and she liked it was like. Wow. This is a woman he really likes, maybe even more than he usually likes people in general. That first week in general was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, and when she got hurt in the CYOA and he rushed over instantly to take her, part of it was the affection effect but part of it was...him sincerely being upset that she was harmed. I think all their threads during affection week really railroaded her position in his eyes to at least someone he knew he cared for, even though he was clueless at the time as to just how deep that caring went. She asked him for self defense lessons, drank alcohol with her, and overall everything just felt so natural, even with the added hugs and forehead kisses and affection. And I think that is what was so important for Hansa, that...he could be himself around her, and she could be herself around him, and there was no suggestion of pretense between them. They were who they were, and they liked each other, and that's what matters.
And then Anna came for my life AT THE END OF WEEK 1 where Blanca actually turned around at Hansa's teasing about him and Lup to suggest that he should be "gentle" with Alex in a way that was like HM. FEELINGS HUH and it was this very thread that actually made Hansa go...."oh. OH. yeah haha I do have dokis. maybe" but he instantly waved it off because hey, maybe he did care, but he was a priest! Wouldn't work out. Sorry, Blanca. (Hansa was wrong, later.)
Week 2 was a big shock (literally!) for Hansa with the effect because he sincerely was kind of miffed that he couldn't touch her like they did before. He was aware the previous week must have been some effect, but as I said before, points above, with her, it felt natural. Him being unable to put a hand on her shoulder or ruffle her hair kind of felt like a barrier being thrown between them, and for the most part, he tried his best to make up for it by being emotionally there for her. But the icing on the cake was just being able to be a dumb jock to help her out during the CYOA, even though he honestly felt guilty that he hurt her by carrying her and shocking them both. The last thing he wanted was for her to be harmed and the fact that it was HIM who did that to her, even unintentionally was. A bit demoralizing. But she didn't carry any grudges, and didn't go against him for that, and then on top of that, she talked a little about her past that made him connect a couple of dots and get angry for her sake that she had that kind of life. I really think that at this point, he was. Sort of more than accepting he had these feelings for her but he was also just happy to shelve them and let things play out. He was a priest, and wasn't supposed to be "available", and while he knew she liked him, he didn't think she would sincerely feel more for him than that. They were friends, and that's what mattered.
And then he forgot he was a priest.
I think losing that specific memory really helped...open a big emotional door for Hansa for a lot of people. Before, he had his role, and his devotion to the Church, and even a free spirit like himself put that above all. But now, he was a free man. He could like who he wanted to like, and love who he wanted to love. But even so, he was just happy keeping the course with her because maybe she doesn't want to think about those sorts of things, especially in the middle of a murdergame and with memory loss and everything she's experienced. He...deeply respected her, so much, and his main goal with her was just to be someone she could rely on. Her happiness was his happiness. He didn't want to impose himself, either, and make himself into some kind of constant savior. If she needed him, he would be there, but if she didn't, that was fine too. Even if she rejected him, he would be upset, sure, but if it meant she would be happy for it...then it would be for the better. He really, sincerely put her emotional needs even above his own.
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Its really something that...shifted Hansa, as a character. Here was this carefree free spirit that was made to play father to a child alongside Emet-Selch, and despite it possibly not being real, despite it being the blink of an eye in mg time, he returned back a somewhat different man. He had lost a child who he saw as a son, had him literally erased from existence, and it was honestly the lowest point for Hansa emotionally in the entire game. He also returned with a fondness for Emet-Selch that was only going to be stronger since Hansa flocked to him as an emotional rock to lean on after it all, so for a moment it seemed like Alex was a thing of the past...but seeing her again, and the way she instantly went to talk to him and support him after he came back made everything rush back. He had been letting her lean on him for so long that he really didn't consider it happening the other way around, and this conversation particularly was such an important moment for Hansa. He's the all-powerful Church cyborg who survived the wilderness and fights vampires for a living, and here was an emotional pain he couldn't fix with punching, so having her at his side just reaffirmed to him that even with his feelings for Emet-Selch, he did, and always would care for her and she deeply cared for him back. And then execution happens, and she rushes to him, worried about him, and it was at that moment, when he told her that he liked when she smiled, that he was like "Ah. I love her. I love her so much."
Week 4 with its confessions was....honestly always going to have a Hansa confession, I think. Especially with the priest thing out the window, he was free to be open with his feelings, and he would've told them to her, regardless of her answer. But then, Emet-Selch wanted him to sort out his feelings with him, and it was really honestly funny when he went up to Emet and Chiron, and threw down the ultimatum of, well, yeah, of course he was fond for Emet, he was, but Alex came first, so whatever they wanted to do, he wouldn't abandon Alex, and them just....saying "okay, bring her into this". He was honestly shocked. And then he was excited and nervous because hey, well, maybe he could have his cake and eat it too, but it was all up to Alex. So he pulled her aside, and gave his confession first, and then told her about the "arrangement" - but even then, as you know, he was like "look, if you don't like it, I will literally step away so I can be with you and you alone". Like! That's how important she was to him! He would throw away his entire ten year husband for her in a SECOND if she said no!! Binch, that's how much he loved her!!! She's the world to him!!!!!!!
BUT SHE SAID YES AND OT4 WAS A THING, INDEED.
And god, was he the happiest he ever was. Here he had three people he cared for in different ways, and above all, he had Alex by his side who he made sure was always comfortable and safe and happy with them all. He was just. Over the moon that now he could shower Alex with EVEN MORE AFFECTION and kissing and handholding and even when he lost more memories, and became feral, he could never lose the feelings he had. She was his friend, his beloved, his stars and moons, the one he would fight to the death for - and even not to the death, because he knew she would be upset if that happened. Its part of the reason why he never volunteered to be voted for in trials, because his death would be a huge blow to her. It might have been selfish on his part, but...hey. That's how he rolls. Even in a Grail War, he pursues the things HE wants to do, and now, being at her side with Chiron and Emet is his dream now for the rest of whatever life offers to him, Catholicism be damned.
Hansa has never been in love (in my opinion, and canon has not proven me wrong just yet), but her being his first true honest love, even if was more of a pure, childish, yet sincere love, was...something he'd never take for granted. His feelings are real, and true, and she's someone so deeply special to him. He loves her, with every wire and fiber of his cyborg heart.
One day, he really will take her out for jolokia jambalaya.
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Re: Hansa
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“I know I’m going to love you without questions, I know I’m going to love you without the answers."
AKA: I literally didn't even believe or think I would be in another ship with Teej and I'm just. Laying down on the floor right now.
Anyways, from the beginning, Emet-Selch was someone that Hansa liked talking to. His profile piqued his interest, what with the age and the interests and just, everything weird about it, so he was eager to see what kind of man was behind it. He wasn't disappointed. Their first talk got right into religion which was really interesting because Hansa is a very atypical representation of what a Catholic priest is all supposed to be about. One one hand, he is very devoted to the Lord, and has deep respect for the upper echelons of the Church, and overall sees God as a power to behold - in canon, he even gets angry at another character who tries to give him a compliment about him being a part of the Burial Agency, which Hansa sees as an insult because he says he is nowhere near the level of those who can wield God's very power. On the other hand, Hansa is one who sees himself as someone who "wields the power of man" and his down-to-earth nature with that seems to lead into his more carefree attitude towards others and their takes on the nature of what "God" means. So when Emet brought up that his god was unlike the one Hansa followed, he barely took offense. He already thought that this was a place where people came from different worlds, and perhaps the Lord had different forms in all of them.
They really vibed well from the start just like we had guessed they would pre-game - Emet's pettiness and snide commentary was like music to Hansa's ears, and he honestly liked that Emet-Selch was a levelheaded individual that could also step back and look at the big picture as a whole. It intrigued him to try to think of how Emet thought of everything as an immortal - which leads to one of the things that I think makes this relationship the thing it is - the fact that Hansa sees himself as a mortal who lives day by day, enjoying what life brings, and Emet is a man who has lived for literal thousands of years and has grown weary of it all. Hansa knew he would never fully understand that viewpoint, and in its own way it was amusing, but it was humbling too, to know that this man was someone who saw him as a being who would vanish in the blink of an eye. Then learning about Emet's culture, and how it emphasized the community (and him hilariously being like OH...SO WORKER ANTS? MONKS?) was even more eye-opening, since Hansa knows how people where he comes from are all about the individual. Hansa liked Emet, and saw him as fun to talk to, and was amused to eventually find out that they were on the same team and liked Tiger for everything she was about.
And then that ten year CYOA....changed everything.
Hansa was reluctant at first for the task, but Kaiza, their eventual son, was endearing to Hansa immediately. Where Emet-Selch grouched, Hansa stepped forward with a hand and a smile, and their differing parenting tactics really somehow melded together into a sort of partnership that worked. And during those ten years, though it really was just a task, Hansa started seeing himself as Kaiza's father, and him seeing the way that Emet looked out for Kaiza in his own way was surprising yet...endearing. Here was an immortal who had professed to Hansa that he was tired and he had lived for eons and stepping back from it all was only logical, but then here in these ten years he took time to help with Kaiza's studies, and made a case for him at their parent meeting at school, and went forward to defend him when he was in danger, and it offered a new perspective on Emet for Hansa. Despite everything...Emet-Selch cared about their son. Hansa, despite his chaotic nature, is a man who has a good heart and values people who do good things, and to see this softer (yet still grouchy) side of Emet was the start of feelings that he sort of just gathered as they went along. (Also Emet's grumpiness at being teased is just. Icing at the cake.)
And then the unthinkable happened. Here was the truth that was revealed: that their son had always been dead, and this was a timeline where he had been resurrected for a single task, which when completed, would result in the death of the timeline and the literal erasure of his entire existence. He would be forgotten, completely. This was...like shooting Hansa through the heart. I say time and time again how he is a very mentally stable person, but at the same time, mentally stable doesn't protect him from feeling sorrow, or being upset, or experiencing sudden, violent grief. And before he could really react, Emet stepped forward to do the unthinkable - try to kill HIS OWN SON so that at least, he'd be remembered, even dead. It was a horrible thing. Hansa could hardly believe it, but in the middle of his grief, part of him understood Emet's reasoning which just made it hurt all the more. He couldn't let Emet go through with it, though, because either way, Kaiza would be dead, and it was horrid to even think of a parent killing his own child even for that - but in a strange way, that act just proved that Emet cared, and cared deeply, and when all was said and done and they were left to basically carry ten years of memories of a young man who no longer existed in any sense, Hansa instantly found himself running for Emet's company for shared solace in their loss. The last time Hansa lost someone, it was his entire family in a night, and he had no one to turn to, so having Emet there was something that Hansa desperately needed in this incredibly emotionally vulnerable time.
And then, it all happened, like a railroad rushing down a track without brakes. Hansa only had a day or so to grieve before another trial was on them, and then, suddenly, Emet made a blatant lie in trial and basically looked to him to cover him for it. Hansa was incredibly mad deep down - not because Emet murdered, but because he didn't discuss it in advance - and when his lie failed, and Emet was chosen and confessed, Hansa was despondent beyond reason. They had just lost their son. And what, he was going to lose Emet, too? It was like another dagger to his heart. He hates that Chiron basically threw himself on the blade to save Emet, too, which surprises him too since he didn't expect it - although he dislikes Chiron trying to sacrifice himself, he was grateful in his own way to the centaur. and tells him as much. And then Chiron basically just bluntly asks Hansa if he's in love with Emet. This completely takes him aback, and really...gets him to step back and look at his own feelings. Oh, for sure he cares for Emet, but...is it really love? He doesn't know. All he knows is that the centaur loves Emet too, and then Soo-won goes and tells him that things will be okay at the execution. He latches onto that, desperate for the idea that he won't lose the man, and when the time comes, Hansa, not 100% sure it will turn out okay (and unwilling to tell Emet in fear it may botch his chance) tells the man what he feels. And then he survives! And Hansa, who would've likely had a terrible downward spiral if he had died for real, is elated beyond measure.
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Except...Emet suddenly calls him and Chiron in for a meeting to explain their feelings, Hansa does so, and then throws down his ultimatum that he would never leave Alex and that was that. He expected for Emet to just say "okay lol I'll be with Chiron and you be with Alex"....except suddenly the two were like "yeah that's fine, we want you, bring Alex in". This FLOORED Hansa. Here he had been thinking things would go one way, and here was confirmation that Emet cared? For HIM? And Chiron was fine with them all being together? Its still sort of a shock to this day - Hansa definitely doesn't take anything Emet gives him for granted, and any sign of affection is one more than he thought he'd ever get from the immortal.
Its then funny because they get love arrowed, and after a smooch and a sudden memshare he sees that...Emet is basically [REDACTED] in his canon. Hansa is furious, of course he is, but seeing the ending, where Emet [REDACTED]...actually softened that anger. Hansa operates on a philosophy that even if you're a bad person, or a terrible being, as long as you accept what you are, live quietly, and do good things despite things you have done or were planning to do in the past...he was fine with that. And seeing that Emet didn't have those feelings he saw anymore really reassured him that being fond of Emet wasn't a mistake, and honestly he felt more for Emet after that. Hansa, your terrible taste. (To be fair, if Emet went back on THAT level of bullshit, Hansa's morality is strong enough that he would actually fight the man, because love or no love, he can't abide by that.)
ANYWAYS, as of right now Hansa will probably be clueless of HOW MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE EMET WAS FOR THE ENTIRE GAME HOLY COW but I think right now, he's terribly happy where he is. Its hard to describe what his feelings for Emet really are - it is love, in a sense, but its mixed with this kind of earnest devotion, and just happiness to be at the man's side. He just finds it special that Emet cares for him back in his own way. Right now, Hansa sees himself as like...someone that Emet can be happy to witness. Sure, their viewpoints as mortal and immortal won't really coincide, but if Emet can live vicariously through him, understand some of the joy he has every day as a human being who is happy with life itself, then Hansa would be overjoyed himself. If Emet turned away and grew tired of the relationship, then that would be fine. Its his right to do so. But Hansa treasures the fact that he decided to stay by his side, and he feels more happy that he can be one of a tiny few who has received his attention.
Sometimes, that's all that matters.
(also, after several weeks of deliberating it, Hansa can conclude that Emet's other form is indeed Hot)
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