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TL;CR MEME
1. Comment with your character.
2. Receive comments from others.
3. Reply to their comments with long ballads and explanations of your characters' relationship throughout the game.
4. Suffer as we have suffered over your CR.
1. Comment with your character.
2. Receive comments from others.
3. Reply to their comments with long ballads and explanations of your characters' relationship throughout the game.
4. Suffer as we have suffered over your CR.
no subject
1/2
"This life is mine, but this heart is yours. This smile is mine, but the reason is you."
Basically, Alex is the most important person in this entire game, for Hansa.
Like, of course Emet-Selch is important to him, and so is Chiron, and many others who Hansa likes very much, but like he told the immortals in their "arrangement" talk, Alex is the one he would fight for, and the one he would, by no means, give up on. Even if Emet-Selch had said something like "leave her and be with me" after their ten years together, Hansa would've straight up told him no. Even after ten years, seeing Alex again made all the feelings rush back, and...I'M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF.
Basically, I was super excited that Alex and Hansa had CR, because like you said! Becks CR! Finally! And then the mods just turned their gun at us and put them together for affection week. "Haha", I said. "This is cute but Hansa is still a whole priest who isn't used to reciprocation for anything he says". "Oh no this is actually really, really cute" I said, like a fool. The fact is, that Hansa himself is a very carefree character. He's someone who is stated to take joy in life, and enjoy what things are offered him. He's...almost a very pure, childish character, despite the fact that he's literally a living Church weapon who is considered a "first rate murderer" for what he does to vampires and the like. So while he liked Alex from the get-go, because hey, he has an eye, he appreciates beautiful ladies - their first (and incredibly dumb) thread during affection week was really unexpected for Hansa and was really the start of actual feelings. She was...funny, and silly, and teased him right back with his teases. Hansa in his canon seems to relish teasing others and making jokes but it seems more like he does it to surprise/annoy people than expecting anything in return, so the fact that they just bickered playfully and she liked it was like. Wow. This is a woman he really likes, maybe even more than he usually likes people in general. That first week in general was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, and when she got hurt in the CYOA and he rushed over instantly to take her, part of it was the affection effect but part of it was...him sincerely being upset that she was harmed. I think all their threads during affection week really railroaded her position in his eyes to at least someone he knew he cared for, even though he was clueless at the time as to just how deep that caring went. She asked him for self defense lessons, drank alcohol with her, and overall everything just felt so natural, even with the added hugs and forehead kisses and affection. And I think that is what was so important for Hansa, that...he could be himself around her, and she could be herself around him, and there was no suggestion of pretense between them. They were who they were, and they liked each other, and that's what matters.
And then Anna came for my life AT THE END OF WEEK 1 where Blanca actually turned around at Hansa's teasing about him and Lup to suggest that he should be "gentle" with Alex in a way that was like HM. FEELINGS HUH and it was this very thread that actually made Hansa go...."oh. OH. yeah haha I do have dokis. maybe" but he instantly waved it off because hey, maybe he did care, but he was a priest! Wouldn't work out. Sorry, Blanca. (Hansa was wrong, later.)
Week 2 was a big shock (literally!) for Hansa with the effect because he sincerely was kind of miffed that he couldn't touch her like they did before. He was aware the previous week must have been some effect, but as I said before, points above, with her, it felt natural. Him being unable to put a hand on her shoulder or ruffle her hair kind of felt like a barrier being thrown between them, and for the most part, he tried his best to make up for it by being emotionally there for her. But the icing on the cake was just being able to be a dumb jock to help her out during the CYOA, even though he honestly felt guilty that he hurt her by carrying her and shocking them both. The last thing he wanted was for her to be harmed and the fact that it was HIM who did that to her, even unintentionally was. A bit demoralizing. But she didn't carry any grudges, and didn't go against him for that, and then on top of that, she talked a little about her past that made him connect a couple of dots and get angry for her sake that she had that kind of life. I really think that at this point, he was. Sort of more than accepting he had these feelings for her but he was also just happy to shelve them and let things play out. He was a priest, and wasn't supposed to be "available", and while he knew she liked him, he didn't think she would sincerely feel more for him than that. They were friends, and that's what mattered.
And then he forgot he was a priest.
I think losing that specific memory really helped...open a big emotional door for Hansa for a lot of people. Before, he had his role, and his devotion to the Church, and even a free spirit like himself put that above all. But now, he was a free man. He could like who he wanted to like, and love who he wanted to love. But even so, he was just happy keeping the course with her because maybe she doesn't want to think about those sorts of things, especially in the middle of a murdergame and with memory loss and everything she's experienced. He...deeply respected her, so much, and his main goal with her was just to be someone she could rely on. Her happiness was his happiness. He didn't want to impose himself, either, and make himself into some kind of constant savior. If she needed him, he would be there, but if she didn't, that was fine too. Even if she rejected him, he would be upset, sure, but if it meant she would be happy for it...then it would be for the better. He really, sincerely put her emotional needs even above his own.
no subject
Its really something that...shifted Hansa, as a character. Here was this carefree free spirit that was made to play father to a child alongside Emet-Selch, and despite it possibly not being real, despite it being the blink of an eye in mg time, he returned back a somewhat different man. He had lost a child who he saw as a son, had him literally erased from existence, and it was honestly the lowest point for Hansa emotionally in the entire game. He also returned with a fondness for Emet-Selch that was only going to be stronger since Hansa flocked to him as an emotional rock to lean on after it all, so for a moment it seemed like Alex was a thing of the past...but seeing her again, and the way she instantly went to talk to him and support him after he came back made everything rush back. He had been letting her lean on him for so long that he really didn't consider it happening the other way around, and this conversation particularly was such an important moment for Hansa. He's the all-powerful Church cyborg who survived the wilderness and fights vampires for a living, and here was an emotional pain he couldn't fix with punching, so having her at his side just reaffirmed to him that even with his feelings for Emet-Selch, he did, and always would care for her and she deeply cared for him back. And then execution happens, and she rushes to him, worried about him, and it was at that moment, when he told her that he liked when she smiled, that he was like "Ah. I love her. I love her so much."
Week 4 with its confessions was....honestly always going to have a Hansa confession, I think. Especially with the priest thing out the window, he was free to be open with his feelings, and he would've told them to her, regardless of her answer. But then, Emet-Selch wanted him to sort out his feelings with him, and it was really honestly funny when he went up to Emet and Chiron, and threw down the ultimatum of, well, yeah, of course he was fond for Emet, he was, but Alex came first, so whatever they wanted to do, he wouldn't abandon Alex, and them just....saying "okay, bring her into this". He was honestly shocked. And then he was excited and nervous because hey, well, maybe he could have his cake and eat it too, but it was all up to Alex. So he pulled her aside, and gave his confession first, and then told her about the "arrangement" - but even then, as you know, he was like "look, if you don't like it, I will literally step away so I can be with you and you alone". Like! That's how important she was to him! He would throw away his entire ten year husband for her in a SECOND if she said no!! Binch, that's how much he loved her!!! She's the world to him!!!!!!!
BUT SHE SAID YES AND OT4 WAS A THING, INDEED.
And god, was he the happiest he ever was. Here he had three people he cared for in different ways, and above all, he had Alex by his side who he made sure was always comfortable and safe and happy with them all. He was just. Over the moon that now he could shower Alex with EVEN MORE AFFECTION and kissing and handholding and even when he lost more memories, and became feral, he could never lose the feelings he had. She was his friend, his beloved, his stars and moons, the one he would fight to the death for - and even not to the death, because he knew she would be upset if that happened. Its part of the reason why he never volunteered to be voted for in trials, because his death would be a huge blow to her. It might have been selfish on his part, but...hey. That's how he rolls. Even in a Grail War, he pursues the things HE wants to do, and now, being at her side with Chiron and Emet is his dream now for the rest of whatever life offers to him, Catholicism be damned.
Hansa has never been in love (in my opinion, and canon has not proven me wrong just yet), but her being his first true honest love, even if was more of a pure, childish, yet sincere love, was...something he'd never take for granted. His feelings are real, and true, and she's someone so deeply special to him. He loves her, with every wire and fiber of his cyborg heart.
One day, he really will take her out for jolokia jambalaya.
no subject