WEEK 5: CYOA (CLEMENTINE, LUP, JEANNE, ALPHINAUD)

[retellers]

shitpost cometh

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[evocationary]

[ she tries to pull herself to her feet, grabbing for her sword again, but it's slow going... ]

You suck. [ hm, good, great comeback ]

[arcsplainist]

[ Lup isn't even wrong. ]

We are playing the game where you tell me who you really are and why you are here.

[retellers]

Huh? I told you, I'm a guest.

[ She's trying to knock Alphi off of her now. ]

[evocationary]

A guest who just! Stabbed me!

[ ??? ] We don't have time for this, can you just speedrun us through the answers before I bleed out? That'd be great. Just wonderful.

[ she's swaying here with her sword. ]

[arcsplainist]

[ She doesn't have to try very hard; Alphinaud is knocked off fairly easily. He stumbles back, but catches his footing quickly, at least. ]

We have not the time for your playing coy!

[retellers]

[ She just gives them both a slightly baffled look. ]

Are you sure you're not jesters? You're very funny.

[ She shakes her left hand a little--and part of her arm up to her fingers turns into a blade. ]

[evocationary]

[ what the fuck is this girl made of

lup watches the last of her fucks fly away and just jumps forward to slash at this girl with her sword. it's not half bad - she's had some training. ]

[arcsplainist]

[ what

the fuck


sorry Lup he can only uselessly watch on and pray ]

[retellers]

[ I'm so glad for him.

Well, she has to step back as a sword is aimed at her?? She frowns, clearly not expecting either of them to actually attack?? Why. And then attempts to slash back. ]

[evocationary]

[ she's going to do her best to try and protect alphinaud here, but again, knife in the side. that slash is probably going to hit her. snapped at him: ] Run, you ding dong! Get out of here!

[retellers]

Hm?

[ Lup calling out to Alphinaud makes the girl turn to look at him. There's a short pause, before she suddenly runs off in his direction, her blade arm now aiming for him. ]

Sorry for ignoring you! That was rude of me.

[arcsplainist]

[ Alphinaud does eventually come to the conclusion that he should run—unfortunately, it came too late.

With panic gripping his entire being, he turns to flee, but chances are she's faster than him. ]

[evocationary]

Shit - no!

[ did she get hit by that slash? too late i'm saying yes. she stumbles, and then tries to run after the both of them, skidding on her own blood. it's fine, she has adrenaline. ]

[retellers]

[ She is faster than this twink elf. She's aiming for the heart, but at least fleeing saves him enough that she hits him a little more to the right instead. ]

That's better--oh!

[ She pulls the blade out to turn to look at Lup as she runs over to them. ]

[arcsplainist]

[ Somewhere deep down, he knew he wasn't going to be able to avoid that, but nothing could have prepared him for the sudden, intense pain that shoots through him when she slashes deep through his chest and to his shoulder. A strangled, anguished noise escapes him, and he stumbles back again with only the wall to catch him before he falls. ]

[evocationary]

Fuck - Alphinaud!

[ ... well, she's had enough of this. hope this npc isn't important, because lup's summoning her dinosaur. hello, giant spinosaurus, please trample this knife woman. or at least go rescue alphinaud from certain death as lup stumbles into a wall and slides down it a bit. ow. ]

[retellers]

[ Sometimes you are but a simple guest in an old timey feast, and you try to show the librarian and handmaiden a good time, but now there is suddenly a dinosaur here. Does this girl know what a dinosaur is? No she probably thinks it's a dragon or something historically accurate, who knows.. ]

Oh...

[ She is going to try really really hard to run at Lup to stab her again. It is trickier now because there is now a dinosaur on the loose. ]

[arcsplainist]

[ There sure is! While this dino goes on a rampage, don't mind if his knees suddenly feel like jello and he also just kind of. Barely manages to keep himself up, a hand pressed over his injury. That's a lot of blood seeping through! ]

[evocationary]

[ what if the elves just fuckin' mcdied here from stab wounds and the two competent fighters were like "huh, unfortunate."

lup prepares herself to fight off an attack, stubbornly, but that slash from before hit her sword arm, so she just. drops her sword instead and mutters fuck.

the dino is coming, but it's not gonna get there fast enough to stop this chick from making lup into swiss cheese. it will, however, try to eat the chick after she's done stabbing. ]

[retellers]

[ I'm really glad.

But she runs over and slashes Lup across the front, before raising her arm again to strike her again and

then a dinosaur just fucking rams into her. ]

Why!

[ She just. Fucking gets ran over by this dinosaur, don't mind her. ]

[arcsplainist]

—Ruby!

[ ohhh my god they need to get out of here.

Despite the pain, at least his legs work, so Alphinaud is going to try to press on towards... where the hell is the exit outside? He's gonna guess—this way. ]

We must run! Come!

[ Please have enough of a stubborn streak to get back up even with the knifening. We gotta cheez it bruh ]

[evocationary]

Fine, I'm fine, I --

[ oof oof oof. she's just leaving the dinosaur here to chew on this lady, and stumbling after alphinaud. she leaves like, a sizeable blood trail behind her. ]

Go! I'm right behind you! [ she's just stubborn enough to catch up to him. her poor maid outfit is in shambles. ] It's fine, we're gonna make it out, just run.

[retellers]

[ They can run, their friend is dealing with a fucking dinosaur.

But as they run (or like, limp fastly), they'll notice a sizable crowd staring out of a window and muttering fearfully. ]

[arcsplainist]

[ Well, okay, guess we're just gonna show up to this party all bloodied? They're gonna have to get past... ]

[evocationary]

[ oh boy.

lup puts a hand on alphinaud's back, trying to help support him up. ]

What are they - what are they looking at? [ is it a big being throwing trees at blondes ]