AUDIENCE: KANO

[retellers]

Comments

[retellers]

[ they think. ]

I don't know.

[suddenlybees]

[ They didn't think very hard. ]

You said you like being outside, right? What do you feel when you're outside?

[retellers]

I'm not sure.

[ can kano detect a pattern ]

[suddenlybees]

[ He sure can. ]

What do you feel right now? When Hajime was found? When you and I fell off the roof? Anything?

[retellers]

[ they tilt their head. ]

When that child was found dead, I was sad and grieved for the life lost. When you fell off the roof, I was concerned for your safety.

[suddenlybees]

And right now? How 'bout when you're outside and no one's around but the birds? Or when all those other guys came by and brought you food?

[retellers]

... Oh, that reminds me. Did... you want me to give you food?

[ was that what kano was trying to say then???? ]

[suddenlybees]

[ Goat is very skilled at not answering questions. Thanks, leader. ]

Would you give me food...?

[retellers]

[ THEY GOT DISTRACTED ]

I can produce basic things... We're the ones who keep the kitchen stocked.

[suddenlybees]

Produce, like what? Outta thin air? Food's gotta come from somewhere, right?

[ He hates magic! stop it!! you can't make something out of nothing, the universe doesn't work that way ]

[retellers]

This world may not work the way you are used to.

[suddenlybees]

And life is just a simulation.

[ He laughs hollowly. Goddddd ]

[retellers]

... Are you all right?

[suddenlybees]

Nah, I'm homesick and am this close to snapping, you wouldn't even believe it.

[retellers]

... I'm sorry. I know I'm mostly useless, but is there anything within my power that would help?

[suddenlybees]

[ The "sorry" takes him by surprise, even more than the offer to help. ]

I wouldn't say you're mostly useless. [ Just halfway, maybe. ]

You're the leader, right? As the danchou, you got people coming to you. There's no way anybody trusts me enough to tell me anything, but they'll go to you, and you could tell me. Then I can go home. See?

[retellers]

Much of what people tells me is in confidence and will remain that way... but of course, if there is anything I can use to send you home and return you to your loved ones, I will do so.

[suddenlybees]

Boo~ What good are secrets if not to share? If there's a secret that goes against getting everybody home, which side would you take?

[retellers]

I would not have left that conversation unless they coukd provide a good reason as to why it should be kept secret. And in any case, there are ways to act on information without revealing what was intended to be private.

After all, to you, I imagine what matters is returning home, and not the particulars of it, correct?

[ ... ]

Though it is my belief that those who are eager to learn others' secrets are the ones who keep their own held closely to their chest.

[suddenlybees]

[ This is the most he's heard Goat talk, and he considers those words, quiet. ]

...Yeah, you're right. All I want is to go home— I don't care how, I don't care what I need to do, I don't care if I need to dirty my hands more than they already are.

So, yeah, sure, keep me in the dark. But if you can use me to get everybody out, then use me.

[retellers]

[ they're silent for a few moments. ]

I don't know what sort of life you've led, or the kinds of things you've been through... but it is my wish that you would think of yourself in kinder terms--even if it isn't today, or tomorrow, or in this year, that you could see your life as more than something to be "used".

[suddenlybees]

[ It takes so much not to close his eyes, that he keeps getting preached on about this point that he has absolutely no intention of changing. ]

My life isn't worth shit, Goat. But I got people important to me, and if I can use it to protect them, doesn't that give it meaning or whatever? Why can't that be good enough?

[retellers]

[ ... ]

If that is what you consider the purpose of your life, then.

But the worth of one's life isn't decided alone. You may not like it, but you will have to accept that others will disagree with your self-evaluation.

[suddenlybees]

Yeah, whatever. Still doesn't matter in the end, though.

[ When he's good and dead and people feel bad about him, so what? He huffs and rubs the heel of his palm over his eyes. ]

I already get all that, alright? Worth is different for different people, that's people's opinions, or whatever. I'd still rather be used and useful, than not.

[retellers]

[ after a pause, ]

May I ask who are the people you wish to protect?