[ The "sorry" takes him by surprise, even more than the offer to help. ]
I wouldn't say you're mostly useless. [ Just halfway, maybe. ]
You're the leader, right? As the danchou, you got people coming to you. There's no way anybody trusts me enough to tell me anything, but they'll go to you, and you could tell me. Then I can go home. See?
Much of what people tells me is in confidence and will remain that way... but of course, if there is anything I can use to send you home and return you to your loved ones, I will do so.
I would not have left that conversation unless they coukd provide a good reason as to why it should be kept secret. And in any case, there are ways to act on information without revealing what was intended to be private.
After all, to you, I imagine what matters is returning home, and not the particulars of it, correct?
[ ... ]
Though it is my belief that those who are eager to learn others' secrets are the ones who keep their own held closely to their chest.
[ This is the most he's heard Goat talk, and he considers those words, quiet. ]
...Yeah, you're right. All I want is to go home— I don't care how, I don't care what I need to do, I don't care if I need to dirty my hands more than they already are.
So, yeah, sure, keep me in the dark. But if you can use me to get everybody out, then use me.
I don't know what sort of life you've led, or the kinds of things you've been through... but it is my wish that you would think of yourself in kinder terms--even if it isn't today, or tomorrow, or in this year, that you could see your life as more than something to be "used".
[ It takes so much not to close his eyes, that he keeps getting preached on about this point that he has absolutely no intention of changing. ]
My life isn't worth shit, Goat. But I got people important to me, and if I can use it to protect them, doesn't that give it meaning or whatever? Why can't that be good enough?
Yeah, whatever. Still doesn't matter in the end, though.
[ When he's good and dead and people feel bad about him, so what? He huffs and rubs the heel of his palm over his eyes. ]
I already get all that, alright? Worth is different for different people, that's people's opinions, or whatever. I'd still rather be used and useful, than not.
[ He also pauses, like he wants to make Goat promise not to tell, but it's not a secret and there's no point. It's just something personal, and anything personal, he covets. ]
Mm... I got a cute little brother and a cute little sister back home, see? They've both been through too much, so, like, if I can make sure the rest of their lives are safe and happy, that's what I want to do.
... Family is important. [ though there's a distant quality to their voice--it's not as if they have any memories to speak from experience. ] What are they like?
[ What is that "they think"?? At least those observations are pretty spot on, even if they just make Kano laugh. ]
Yeah, yeah, just like that! One isn't always honest with herself, but she tries her very best all the time and is very cute even if she doesn't think it. And the other is the hardest worker I know and strives to improve himself every single day, even if he doesn't realize just how far he's come. They're both real good kids.
The smile on Goat's face, though? makes Kano smile. He gets to talk about his cute little siblings and I'm so so sorry to Hikaru in another thread. ]
Nah, if I got any blood siblings, I wouldn't know. I met them at the orphanage I was sent to and we got fostered together. The three of us, and we got a mother and a father and an older sister too~
... I'm glad, then, that you were given another chance at having a family--a very precious one. [ after whatever (horrible) thing that led to kano being sent to an orphanage. ] Are your younger siblings closer in age to you, then, or are they much younger?
[ Basically the same age and would've been in the same grade at school if any of them went to school. Still his cute little siblings, though, even if he's the only one who thinks so. ]
Aw, how sad for them. Maybe we'll come across one of your novas soon~
[ ALSO WAIT it's 50 tags in but I just now remembered I had an actual mechanics question that was the whole point of asking for a pc in the first place ]
Speaking of, that whole nova ranking thing. Is that by how much nova we all collect? Is that the competition?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I wouldn't say you're mostly useless. [ Just halfway, maybe. ]
You're the leader, right? As the danchou, you got people coming to you. There's no way anybody trusts me enough to tell me anything, but they'll go to you, and you could tell me. Then I can go home. See?
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After all, to you, I imagine what matters is returning home, and not the particulars of it, correct?
[ ... ]
Though it is my belief that those who are eager to learn others' secrets are the ones who keep their own held closely to their chest.
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...Yeah, you're right. All I want is to go home— I don't care how, I don't care what I need to do, I don't care if I need to dirty my hands more than they already are.
So, yeah, sure, keep me in the dark. But if you can use me to get everybody out, then use me.
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I don't know what sort of life you've led, or the kinds of things you've been through... but it is my wish that you would think of yourself in kinder terms--even if it isn't today, or tomorrow, or in this year, that you could see your life as more than something to be "used".
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My life isn't worth shit, Goat. But I got people important to me, and if I can use it to protect them, doesn't that give it meaning or whatever? Why can't that be good enough?
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If that is what you consider the purpose of your life, then.
But the worth of one's life isn't decided alone. You may not like it, but you will have to accept that others will disagree with your self-evaluation.
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[ When he's good and dead and people feel bad about him, so what? He huffs and rubs the heel of his palm over his eyes. ]
I already get all that, alright? Worth is different for different people, that's people's opinions, or whatever. I'd still rather be used and useful, than not.
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May I ask who are the people you wish to protect?
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Mm... I got a cute little brother and a cute little sister back home, see? They've both been through too much, so, like, if I can make sure the rest of their lives are safe and happy, that's what I want to do.
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Yeah, yeah, just like that! One isn't always honest with herself, but she tries her very best all the time and is very cute even if she doesn't think it. And the other is the hardest worker I know and strives to improve himself every single day, even if he doesn't realize just how far he's come. They're both real good kids.
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a light smile appears on goat's face. ]
They both sound like very good children. Are they your siblings by blood or through another means?
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The smile on Goat's face, though? makes Kano smile. He gets to talk about his cute little siblings and I'm so so sorry to Hikaru in another thread. ]
Nah, if I got any blood siblings, I wouldn't know. I met them at the orphanage I was sent to and we got fostered together. The three of us, and we got a mother and a father and an older sister too~
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... I'm glad, then, that you were given another chance at having a family--a very precious one. [ after whatever (horrible) thing that led to kano being sent to an orphanage. ] Are your younger siblings closer in age to you, then, or are they much younger?
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[ Basically the same age and would've been in the same grade at school if any of them went to school. Still his cute little siblings, though, even if he's the only one who thinks so. ]
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That still makes you the older sibling.
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[ Even by technicality, that's how it is. ]
Your profile says you're probably the oldest out of all the other guys, right? You don't remember anything about having little brothers and sisters?
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If I have any family, I don't remember them.
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[ ALSO WAIT it's 50 tags in but I just now remembered I had an actual mechanics question that was the whole point of asking for a pc in the first place ]
Speaking of, that whole nova ranking thing. Is that by how much nova we all collect? Is that the competition?
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Yes. The rankings are based on how much nova each team has gathered personally.
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