AUDIENCE: KANO

[retellers]

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[retellers]

... Oh, that reminds me. Did... you want me to give you food?

[ was that what kano was trying to say then???? ]

[suddenlybees]

[ Goat is very skilled at not answering questions. Thanks, leader. ]

Would you give me food...?

[retellers]

[ THEY GOT DISTRACTED ]

I can produce basic things... We're the ones who keep the kitchen stocked.

[suddenlybees]

Produce, like what? Outta thin air? Food's gotta come from somewhere, right?

[ He hates magic! stop it!! you can't make something out of nothing, the universe doesn't work that way ]

[retellers]

This world may not work the way you are used to.

[suddenlybees]

And life is just a simulation.

[ He laughs hollowly. Goddddd ]

[retellers]

... Are you all right?

[suddenlybees]

Nah, I'm homesick and am this close to snapping, you wouldn't even believe it.

[retellers]

... I'm sorry. I know I'm mostly useless, but is there anything within my power that would help?

[suddenlybees]

[ The "sorry" takes him by surprise, even more than the offer to help. ]

I wouldn't say you're mostly useless. [ Just halfway, maybe. ]

You're the leader, right? As the danchou, you got people coming to you. There's no way anybody trusts me enough to tell me anything, but they'll go to you, and you could tell me. Then I can go home. See?

[retellers]

Much of what people tells me is in confidence and will remain that way... but of course, if there is anything I can use to send you home and return you to your loved ones, I will do so.

[suddenlybees]

Boo~ What good are secrets if not to share? If there's a secret that goes against getting everybody home, which side would you take?

[retellers]

I would not have left that conversation unless they coukd provide a good reason as to why it should be kept secret. And in any case, there are ways to act on information without revealing what was intended to be private.

After all, to you, I imagine what matters is returning home, and not the particulars of it, correct?

[ ... ]

Though it is my belief that those who are eager to learn others' secrets are the ones who keep their own held closely to their chest.

[suddenlybees]

[ This is the most he's heard Goat talk, and he considers those words, quiet. ]

...Yeah, you're right. All I want is to go home— I don't care how, I don't care what I need to do, I don't care if I need to dirty my hands more than they already are.

So, yeah, sure, keep me in the dark. But if you can use me to get everybody out, then use me.

[retellers]

[ they're silent for a few moments. ]

I don't know what sort of life you've led, or the kinds of things you've been through... but it is my wish that you would think of yourself in kinder terms--even if it isn't today, or tomorrow, or in this year, that you could see your life as more than something to be "used".

[suddenlybees]

[ It takes so much not to close his eyes, that he keeps getting preached on about this point that he has absolutely no intention of changing. ]

My life isn't worth shit, Goat. But I got people important to me, and if I can use it to protect them, doesn't that give it meaning or whatever? Why can't that be good enough?

[retellers]

[ ... ]

If that is what you consider the purpose of your life, then.

But the worth of one's life isn't decided alone. You may not like it, but you will have to accept that others will disagree with your self-evaluation.

[suddenlybees]

Yeah, whatever. Still doesn't matter in the end, though.

[ When he's good and dead and people feel bad about him, so what? He huffs and rubs the heel of his palm over his eyes. ]

I already get all that, alright? Worth is different for different people, that's people's opinions, or whatever. I'd still rather be used and useful, than not.

[retellers]

[ after a pause, ]

May I ask who are the people you wish to protect?

[suddenlybees]

[ He also pauses, like he wants to make Goat promise not to tell, but it's not a secret and there's no point. It's just something personal, and anything personal, he covets. ]

Mm... I got a cute little brother and a cute little sister back home, see? They've both been through too much, so, like, if I can make sure the rest of their lives are safe and happy, that's what I want to do.

[retellers]

... Family is important. [ though there's a distant quality to their voice--it's not as if they have any memories to speak from experience. ] What are they like?

[suddenlybees]

Hm... Do you know Izumo and Shigeo? Unfortunately, they're a lot like them.

[retellers]

I know them from observation... [ they think. ] So one is... prickly, and the other is mild-mannered?

[suddenlybees]

[ What is that "they think"?? At least those observations are pretty spot on, even if they just make Kano laugh. ]

Yeah, yeah, just like that! One isn't always honest with herself, but she tries her very best all the time and is very cute even if she doesn't think it. And the other is the hardest worker I know and strives to improve himself every single day, even if he doesn't realize just how far he's come. They're both real good kids.

[retellers]

[ I MEANT THAT THEY JUST PONDERED FOR A BIT

a light smile appears on goat's face. ]

They both sound like very good children. Are they your siblings by blood or through another means?