[ nothing happens! ... at first. unlike before, goat actually steps into the planetarium, if unsteadily because they did just get electrocuted not long ago. ]
[wow she is so tired of crying she has cried so much the last two days and her eyes hurt
She is, at least, not crying now, though her eyes are still very red. She'll hold out a hand to rest against their arm, only nodding and waiting to make sure they can stay on their feet.]
...Goat-san... are you okay? You were touching the barrier for a really long time...
... Kindness pained him, I think. Perhaps there were things you could've done better, but do not be too hard on yourself. He was determined to reject you from his heart, regardless.
mouth actually drops at that for like three whole seconds because what???
...]
I don't believe that, Goat-san. Not that his heart would reject me.
I... think he was trying to push me away, yeah. I know he didn't feel okay telling me anything, maybe because he thought I wouldn't understand. But he was... was hateful, and lonely, and empty. He was hurt. He got really, really mad at me when I told him what I'd done to him at the trial, which means he thought better of me at some point, even if that's gone now.
Maybe I really am as stupid as he thinks I am, and there's nothing I can do to change his mind anymore. But I think that, at least some tiny part of him, had hope left for something that wasn't what he was. That maybe he wanted something more.
I think he hated me, and that maybe, a little bit, that he might have been scared... but if he had wanted to reject me, he would have done it already.
They're not, but... I still think rejection is too strong a word. I believed in him, and I think a little bit of him believed in me. That's not rejection.
[nothing like a riveting speech about a dead kid to get your composure back together...]
Either way... I need to ask you something about him from... from this morning, Goat-san.
The Realm was supposed to be "removing" him, though, right?
What... do you guys have to do with the people who die? There's no graves or anything, which... I mean, I think we should fix, but... [you know, not the current point]
Wolf-san took Virid-kun's body too, right? And we never saw the bodies from the investigations after Saturday... I assumed the Realm just made them vanish, but...
Why... would you need to get a body from space, if it was just gonna vanish?
[She nods, though there's a determined energy behind it.]
Okay. It's... it's something, Goat-san.
I'm gonna be careful with that, I promise. I... don't want people ending up like Shuuya-kun, or Sharon-san, or Cater-chan, just because people might get the wrong idea about something like that.
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week 1, sunday
... You called for me?
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She is, at least, not crying now, though her eyes are still very red. She'll hold out a hand to rest against their arm, only nodding and waiting to make sure they can stay on their feet.]
...Goat-san... are you okay? You were touching the barrier for a really long time...
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Grief, however, takes much longer to fade.
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It... it was all really hard to watch, wasn't it...?
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[ ... ]
You were trying to reach that child, were you not?
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She nods, just barely.]
Do you mean Shuuya-kun?
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I... did what I thought was best, to try and talk to him. To help him feel that maybe he didn't have to be so alone, but...
I think, by today, he... he really must have loathed me a lot.
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mouth actually drops at that for like three whole seconds because what???
...]
I don't believe that, Goat-san. Not that his heart would reject me.
I... think he was trying to push me away, yeah. I know he didn't feel okay telling me anything, maybe because he thought I wouldn't understand. But he was... was hateful, and lonely, and empty. He was hurt. He got really, really mad at me when I told him what I'd done to him at the trial, which means he thought better of me at some point, even if that's gone now.
Maybe I really am as stupid as he thinks I am, and there's nothing I can do to change his mind anymore. But I think that, at least some tiny part of him, had hope left for something that wasn't what he was. That maybe he wanted something more.
I think he hated me, and that maybe, a little bit, that he might have been scared... but if he had wanted to reject me, he would have done it already.
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I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. He had buried hope, but he thought that he could protect his heart by pushing you away.
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They're not, but... I still think rejection is too strong a word. I believed in him, and I think a little bit of him believed in me. That's not rejection.
[nothing like a riveting speech about a dead kid to get your composure back together...]
Either way... I need to ask you something about him from... from this morning, Goat-san.
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Why? Where did you bring it?
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Did you want us to leave it drifting in space...?
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What... do you guys have to do with the people who die? There's no graves or anything, which... I mean, I think we should fix, but... [you know, not the current point]
Wolf-san took Virid-kun's body too, right? And we never saw the bodies from the investigations after Saturday... I assumed the Realm just made them vanish, but...
Why... would you need to get a body from space, if it was just gonna vanish?
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hikaru: oh okay :(
her hands wring together awkwardly]
... Are... they really dead forever now, Goat-san?
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Not necessarily. It isn't impossible that their souls may still be out there, and may be able to return to us one day.
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One day...
If... if we helped get the Realm back together like we're supposed to, do you think we might be able to help bring them back somehow?
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Okay. It's... it's something, Goat-san.
I'm gonna be careful with that, I promise. I... don't want people ending up like Shuuya-kun, or Sharon-san, or Cater-chan, just because people might get the wrong idea about something like that.
...Thank you for telling me.
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... Even if a life can be restored, that doesn't diminish the value of it, or the weight of death. That is wise of you.