![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
TL;CR MEME
1. Comment with your character.
2. Receive comments from others.
3. Reply to their comments with long ballads and explanations of your characters' relationship throughout the game.
4. Suffer as we have suffered over your CR.
1. Comment with your character.
2. Receive comments from others.
3. Reply to their comments with long ballads and explanations of your characters' relationship throughout the game.
4. Suffer as we have suffered over your CR.
no subject
no subject
Kano is a very special kind of infuriating that somehow manages to undo all of Bucky's personal growth and make him regress to being like. a 10 year old. It's absolutely magnificent.
See, as soon as Bucky saw there was a bucket full of scalpels and tools, he meant to yeet them all out the airlock so no one could use them for murder. Unfortunately, I was a dipshit who forgot to report that and by then Kano had stolen A MILLION SCALPELS so ICly what ended up happening is that he threw out whatever he could, but, well. Most tools had already been stolen. That Kano was so heavily armed, and that it led to him getting scapegoated felt like a personal failure to him.
That he let himself get so thoroughly annoyed by Kano as well, to the point of gleefully holding him upside down for half an hour, also made him feel horrible because it turned out it wasn't even him. (And amazingly, no, Bucky did not end up voting for him either!)
He was mad at himself for letting this all happen, and he was mad at Kano for seeming to go out of his way to be suspicious. Bucky found him utterly baffling until some other folks like Shiro said that Kano was just acting out for attention, that negative attention was better than nothing, and that really stung, because, well. That's not all that dissimilar from how Bucky himself was as a child. He felt a weird sort of kinship there and genuinely felt bad for him, and awful for letting him down.
Then, that he failed to find ALL the scalpels and let Kano walk into his execution with more of them and nearly kill Jeanne felt like another failure. (This is why Bucky drank himself into a puddle with his whiskey bowl the next week.)
By the time Bucky got to the graveyard, he'd forgotten everything past his own death--the Winter Soldier years, coming out of it and reclaiming himself, his anger and impulsivity tempered by guilt and regret...all of that was gone. So he was much quicker to anger and much quicker to act on it than before.
When I say Bucky regressed in the graveyard, a lot of that is due to, uh, being stuck in the same place as Kano for a long time with little escape. Even his scalpel guilt aside, Kano just hit this horrible sweet spot of infuriating Bucky, which then leads to him lashing out, which leads to Kano calling him out for getting aggressive against people who haven't earned it, which just exacerbates Bucky's existing insecurities (that he's a loose cannon who, without the backdrop of a war to justify it, just hurts people needlessly) and makes him even angrier. And the anger makes him lash out even more.
Which is how we got to that attempted murder.
And then the end of the cycle is that once all is said and done, Bucky runs off to go sulk about the fact that, despite knowing he and Kano can be quite similar, Kano will always have the moral high ground because Bucky simply has no self-control.
He might've been okay in the graveyard, honestly??? if not for Kano. But he just has a special talent for making Bucky spiral deeper and deeper in anger and self-loathing until he bottoms out. Kano is colossally awful for Bucky's like, entire existence, which means every thread with him was just an utter delight.
no subject
no subject