AUDIENCE: LUP

[retellers]

Comments

[retellers]

[ cheerfully, ]

Nothing particularly interesting.

[evocationary]

Good answer. Really good for the old, uh - yes and.

[retellers]

Depends on what you want to know. It's no fun to spill my extremely brief life story right off the bat, after all.

[evocationary]

I never know what to ask when it comes to this. Do I look like a rich socialite?

What do you get up to here where you're not babysitting us?

[retellers]

Honestly? As much as I'd like to say that we throw amazing parties in the castle and don't invite any of you, the answer is mostly more work, unfortunately.

[evocationary]

The unholy levels of pissed I'd be if you were actually throwing parties...

What does work even entail? Like, demonic chanting, praising the almighty Realm, what.

[retellers]

Trust me, as much as I wish I could just get drunk, it's hard when I'm technically on duty 24/7 if any of you call for me.

[ hmm ]

I would be very bad at all of those, so I sure hope not.

But it's things like trying to keep the Realm stable especially when it gets stabilized for [ sing-song ] reasons [ their head hurts, they're allowed to be a little petty ], looking into what's siphoning the nova, monitoring the flow of nova in general, trying to see if we can trace what happened that first Thursday night, etc.

[evocationary]

Sounds boring. [ she says, near immediately. ]

I don't wanna talk about nova, I'm done with nova. Sorry I asked.

[retellers]

[ in their usual cheerful tone, ]

I am also very sorry you asked!

[ FOX, TOO, IS TIRED OF TALKING ABOUT NOVA ]

[evocationary]

[ she throws like - idk, an eggshell or something at them. ]

You're sassy. God. [ she doesn't sound mad about it. ]

[retellers]

[ they hold up a hand to shield themselves, laughing lightly. ]

I assure you I am a very innocent and sensitive soul.

[evocationary]

I doubt that. [ she gestures. ] Come here. Taste this. Is there enough salt?

[ she holds out a spoon. ]

[retellers]

[ sure, they'll take the spoon and give it a taste. please tell me it's poisoned and fox dies. ]

[evocationary]

[ it's poisoned and fox dies

also it's not salty enough. ]

[retellers]

[ thank god, freedom. ]

Could use a bit more, which I hope aren't famous last words.

[evocationary]

Do I get any bonus points for killing you? [ she says, adding salt. ]

[retellers]

Good question. Regardless of what the actual answer is, I'm going to say you get zero points.

[evocationary]

Gross. Not worth it, then. Killing an NPC has to be like, at least fifty points, considering they're usually essential.

[retellers]

What, are you looking to lower your alignment meter?

[evocationary]

[ ... she looks VERY amused. ]

Yeah, like - maybe a level down. I could give lawful neutral a try.

[retellers]

That's rather unambitious of you.

[evocationary]

Hey, give me a few more weeks and I might just dunk myself right on down into chaotic evil.

[retellers]

All right, maybe a little too ambitious now. Just getting drunk sounds easier.

[evocationary]

I don't know if I ever want to be drunk again after last Friday. Have you ever felt drunk for literally an entire day? Not great!

[retellers]

[ they laugh. ]

It sounds horrifying but amusing to watch, and I'm glad it'll probably never happen to me!