[ he takes out his sword, holding it in front of his face as he looks it over. ]
I wondered, before, why I had this sword, when I didn't have it in my memories. I descended to help that child, not to harm anyone... so I had no reason to wield a weapon.
... When I brought him back from death, I imparted some of my power unto him. In doing so, he became something inhuman.
As it turns out, though... he could then do the same as well. By sharing his vapour—that which was originally mine—he turned other people into the same, if weaker the more removed they were from the source. By the time I awakened, people were referring to such beings as "Demans". Demons who were once human, I suppose.
[ ... ]
It is little wonder. With my power, the Demans can live eternal lives—but only by stealing the lifespan of other humans. The society I witnessed was one where they were encouraged to view humans as lesser beings, so they had no remorse over killing them and devouring their souls.
[ so goat accidentally fucked up humanity and created the demon race, which ranks somewhere on the list of Top 10 Worst Things To Wake Up To. ]
move to shift then, pushing himself up off the floor and - he doesn't assume he can sit next to goat on the coffin, but he will just move to sit on the ground next to him.
and reach to put a hand over his.]
.... which is certainly the opposite of all that you ever hoped to impart.
[ for a moment, goat almost sees another scene—of him sitting on this coffin, and of a young man asking for his power, and then trying to demand it by force when he wouldn't give it.
... but soo-won is not here to ask anything of him, and the notion is almost disarming. ]
... He'd always hated that I didn't do more with my power, when I could rule by force if I so wished. However, I never had any desire to interfere with humanity's freedom in such a way.
And... perhaps he resented me for other reasons as well. I know now that I was not a good teacher to him. He is right to blame me for that.
[ ... ]
In the end, after finding a way to steal more from me, he threw me away. I was no longer needed in his world.
[ more specifically he publicly humiliated him and then threw him off a cliff but maybe details aren't necessary. ]
[ . . . for a moment, there is a little bit of tension in soo-won's hand at the idea of goat being thrown away.
soo-won perhaps is not allowed to criticize. when he killed il, in the same breath he threw away hak and yona because they could not continue to live in the kingdom that they had turned blind eyes to for so long. it is not as though he is a stranger to the notion of abandoning those you had claimed to love.
but it feels different.
to do so without remorse, to abandon goat because he was no longer 'needed' in a world that acts so cruelly and treats others without dignity....
he tries to understand - but he still yet struggles.]
Even if you may not have been a good teacher.... You deserve more than what you were given.
I'm sorry, my friend.
You are more than the 'use' others might think you can offer them.
[ he looks at soo-won for a few moments, pensive, before he looks down at his lap. simply, ]
I am not the victim here.
[ he smiles, if sheepishly. ]
Looking back at it now, I'm rather embarrassed to admit that I... did not react appropriately, after the fact. [ sometimes, after getting betrayed, falling into a coma, and then getting betrayed again within less than a month after waking up, you completely mcfuckin lose it ] It took a human pointing out how shameless I was behaving. Countless people were dead or suffering because of me, with the problem only getting worse day by day, and yet there I was, acting like a lost child.
... I created this mess, so I must clean it up. That is only natural, isn't it? [ ... ] Such is the irony of it all, that Ares tried so hard to have me use force to impose my will on others and I finally have—against the world he hopes to create.
[ . . . . . it is hard for soo-won to say one way or another.
because in the time that they've met again and again, he knows now that goat is likely a god. and gods have made mistakes, and they should not get involved with humans. but he's also met goat as a person, as a friend, with feelings and sentiments. it's true that he likely wasn't behaving "correctly" or "appropriately" - letting his emotions get ahead of him but soo-won wonders if he would hold such a thing against him, when he was a god who never wanted to get involved with humans to such a degree in the first place.
still.
it is the resolution of responsibility and duty that come after that he understands.]
.... I hope you succeed, and that your will to ensure that humans get to exercise their own freedom, without worry of subjugation.... is the one that is triumphant.
[it is a difficult thing - when soo-won once drew such an even divide between the power of gods, and the power of humans.
perhaps he never expected to meet so many gods that also inherently believe in the power of people.]
[ goat is casually leaving out the part where he screamed at a doctor to kill him because he was now corrupt (read: felt shitty enough that he could go and commit the most heinous crime of all, stealing bread) and in a fit of paranoia accused everyone around him of being after his power, and that's part of "did not behave great" package, but also in his defence he was slightly delirious from a fever at the time. ]
... Well, we'll see. I speak of it as though it is my present, but like I said, I have reason to believe this may be relatively far into my past. I don't know what I'll return to.
.... you truly have a long life with many memories to recover. I suppose then... given that we're approaching the end of all this, I'd like to remind you of the promise I asked you to make me.
That you will not run when I go to find you, at the end, when all your memories are returned.
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Or the people in it?
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[ he takes out his sword, holding it in front of his face as he looks it over. ]
I wondered, before, why I had this sword, when I didn't have it in my memories. I descended to help that child, not to harm anyone... so I had no reason to wield a weapon.
And now, I know why.
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Did you become displeased with humanity?
Or they with you?
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Neither, exactly...
Though I am certainly the one at fault.
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What happened?
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[ a sad, broken smile. ]
Back then, I did not realize just how true those words were--how much worse things could get.
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goat your
yanbaby].... did he do something, while you were asleep?
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As it turns out, though... he could then do the same as well. By sharing his vapour—that which was originally mine—he turned other people into the same, if weaker the more removed they were from the source. By the time I awakened, people were referring to such beings as "Demans". Demons who were once human, I suppose.
[ ... ]
It is little wonder. With my power, the Demans can live eternal lives—but only by stealing the lifespan of other humans. The society I witnessed was one where they were encouraged to view humans as lesser beings, so they had no remorse over killing them and devouring their souls.
[ so goat accidentally fucked up humanity and created the demon race, which ranks somewhere on the list of Top 10 Worst Things To Wake Up To. ]
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move to shift then, pushing himself up off the floor and - he doesn't assume he can sit next to goat on the coffin, but he will just move to sit on the ground next to him.
and reach to put a hand over his.]
.... which is certainly the opposite of all that you ever hoped to impart.
[to treasure every single life]
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... but soo-won is not here to ask anything of him, and the notion is almost disarming. ]
... He'd always hated that I didn't do more with my power, when I could rule by force if I so wished. However, I never had any desire to interfere with humanity's freedom in such a way.
And... perhaps he resented me for other reasons as well. I know now that I was not a good teacher to him. He is right to blame me for that.
[ ... ]
In the end, after finding a way to steal more from me, he threw me away. I was no longer needed in his world.
[ more specifically he publicly humiliated him and then threw him off a cliff but maybe details aren't necessary. ]
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soo-won perhaps is not allowed to criticize. when he killed il, in the same breath he threw away hak and yona because they could not continue to live in the kingdom that they had turned blind eyes to for so long. it is not as though he is a stranger to the notion of abandoning those you had claimed to love.
but it feels different.
to do so without remorse, to abandon goat because he was no longer 'needed' in a world that acts so cruelly and treats others without dignity....
he tries to understand - but he still yet struggles.]
Even if you may not have been a good teacher.... You deserve more than what you were given.
I'm sorry, my friend.
You are more than the 'use' others might think you can offer them.
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I am not the victim here.
[ he smiles, if sheepishly. ]
Looking back at it now, I'm rather embarrassed to admit that I... did not react appropriately, after the fact. [ sometimes, after getting betrayed, falling into a coma, and then getting betrayed again within less than a month after waking up, you completely mcfuckin lose it ] It took a human pointing out how shameless I was behaving. Countless people were dead or suffering because of me, with the problem only getting worse day by day, and yet there I was, acting like a lost child.
... I created this mess, so I must clean it up. That is only natural, isn't it? [ ... ] Such is the irony of it all, that Ares tried so hard to have me use force to impose my will on others and I finally have—against the world he hopes to create.
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because in the time that they've met again and again, he knows now that goat is likely a god. and gods have made mistakes, and they should not get involved with humans. but he's also met goat as a person, as a friend, with feelings and sentiments. it's true that he likely wasn't behaving "correctly" or "appropriately" - letting his emotions get ahead of him but soo-won wonders if he would hold such a thing against him, when he was a god who never wanted to get involved with humans to such a degree in the first place.
still.
it is the resolution of responsibility and duty that come after that he understands.]
.... I hope you succeed, and that your will to ensure that humans get to exercise their own freedom, without worry of subjugation.... is the one that is triumphant.
[it is a difficult thing - when soo-won once drew such an even divide between the power of gods, and the power of humans.
perhaps he never expected to meet so many gods that also inherently believe in the power of people.]
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... Well, we'll see. I speak of it as though it is my present, but like I said, I have reason to believe this may be relatively far into my past. I don't know what I'll return to.
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but soo-won looks thoughtful at that]
.... you truly have a long life with many memories to recover. I suppose then... given that we're approaching the end of all this, I'd like to remind you of the promise I asked you to make me.
That you will not run when I go to find you, at the end, when all your memories are returned.
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