TL;CR MEME

[retellers]

1. Comment with your character.
2. Receive comments from others.
3. Reply to their comments with long ballads and explanations of your characters' relationship throughout the game.
4. Suffer as we have suffered over your CR.

Comments

2/2

[chanteuser]

So, that... could've happened here. That sort of "line-in-the-sand" mentality. Specifically, when Hansa told her about his cyoa she was completely heartbroken by it because... loss isn't new to her, and neither is losing a place you felt was home so she felt that, in her own way. But she was also aware that there was this connection now that she, again, couldn't comprehend or bypass so ... if she was brave enough to tell him how she felt, she'd sort of accepted that Emet-Selch would be a part of whatever came of it or she... might not have bothered? Like just put a lid on it and filed it away and not said anything. And then the trial happened, and Emet was voted guilty and she said "fuck the nova" and voted for someone innocent because she couldn't bring herself to vote Emet and cause Hansa harm indirectly. It was around here that things probably started to get all mixed and jumbled, but it was also a re-enforcement that Hansa was someone she'd do almost anything for, if she could. Even if it was just a drop in the bucket of what was happening all around them.

If he'd told her he didn't want to talk to anyone on Saturday night she probably would've decided on shelving things and backing off, honestly. Not permanently because she'd want to make sure he was okay after Emet died, but because he lived she might've just stepped back after that. But instead he let her in, talked to her, admitted he was happy to have her there and then told her he cared about her deeply and that was sort of when things changed? From this sort of "oh there's a wall there I can't pass now" to "oh, there's a wall there but he's thrown down a ladder and told me I can come up".

And then Emet survived and she was, genuinely, so relieved. And Hansa was so happy about it and like... that whole Sunday was so much but in a good way. And she just felt so happy, like whatever happened, it was okay? Things had worked out better than she thought they could. It felt a lot like something had gone right, for the first time since they all got here.

Then we got confessions week and we know how that went. She was going to tell him how she felt, no matter what the outcome was, because she wanted to and she felt comfortable enough to do so after that weekend, he just... beat her to it. And this is like... the third part where things could've gone differently but Hansa just limboed past the tripwires to safety -- he confessed to her first, and made sure she knew exactly where they stood and they he wasn't downplaying his feelings at all. He was being completely sincere with her. If she'd confessed to him and he'd accepted and then flung the OT4 suggestion at her, or if he hadn't been as clear as he was that he loved her and whatever she chose wasn't going to change that, or how he felt about her or where they stood, she might've... gone along with it, but not been as happy with it as she was. Her insecurities would have still been there in their own way.

But he made where they stood clear, and then just... offered her more on her own terms? And then all of them were willing to talk to her and make their positions clear -- and there was the fact that whatever she chose was the "right" answer, too. There was no pressure for her to do something she didn't want, or to force herself to feel something for the others if she didn't. Her own terms and what she was comfortable with was the right answer. And, like... they gave her a place. She'd come to the Realm berating herself for thinking she found a place to belong, and then the three of them just turned to her and said "there's a place for you here, however you want it, at whatever pace you want it" and they all agreed to just be honest with her. Obviously everyone has secrets, but when to came to this and them, they were all fine just being open and not hiding things from her, and that was just... really important. That guarantee that she didn't have to question if she belonged there because they made it clear she did, and the fact that she'd always have a place there -- with Hansa, and with them was probably the biggest game changer for her. They gave a lonely woman somewhere to belong and let her fit in in her own way. And there's something very humbling about someone coming back from ten years away, having formed a whole other life for himself in the process, and saying "-- and I realised I was still in love with you", essentially.

Things just keep happening that hammer home how... bad? It would be if he'd died? Luckily no one wanted to fuck with the cyborg, especially not when he just straight up went feral, but -- she went through that very real fear during the execution in Week 3. Which, side note, I love that your phrasing in that tag sent everyone into a spiral there lmao. But that kind of realisation of what was on the line, like a proper realisation. She'd gone through it a bit when Kano had been executed, but this was like an extra times ten and really hit home how much she didn't want him to die.

She's very much aware that she's very... normal. She's not a fighter, magic, immortal, or anything that she would consider uniquely special. She's a bit stubborn and selfish and willing to throw herself in front of a blade for people she cares about -- but she's not some superhuman fighter or gifted individual, and honestly she worried a lot that the support she got from him was maybe one-sided. Like she kept taking from him and not giving anything back, because she couldn't physically protect him in the ways he did for her, or do what felt like much of anything, really. But after weekend 3 and confessions week I feel like this settled a lot more? She still worries about it, but doesn't feel like something so huge and impossible for her to work back. She can't, and doesn't, ever want to stop him being who is -- but she's also not big-headed enough to think she could change him anyway? Not in huge ways -- but she worries about him, especially here and when the memloss aspect kept taking things from him that were important: his faith, his knowledge of his cyborg parts, and then of who he became after he was adopted and trained as an Executor. But he wouldn't be him if he wasn't doing something ridiculous, or fighting the wildlife, or throwing himself at things recklessly, despite all the grey hairs it's probably going to give her because she can't? Patch up a metal limb and wait for it to heal if he gets, I don't know, bitten by a dinosaur? But this isn't the first time she's been aware of how little she can do and accepted it. She probably accepted it a lot easier here. At least she knows there are plenty of people looking out for him.

It felt a bit like things shifted over time - Hansa spent a lot of the early game looking out for her and propping her up, but that kind of helped her? That, and a lot of conversations she had with other people about her memory loss and her fears meant that by the end of the game she was actually more stable than I'd anticipated her being. At all. And she was able to give something back. Reassuring him when he was all out of sorts in week 6, and trying to protect him in the only ways she could -- listening, emotionally. I really liked realised that was what was happening, as it was happening. Just this slow growth that started with him and grew to cover many more people as time went on. So many of the people who supported her early on, she was able to support in turn and given that she's prone to insecurity and worry that she's not good enough this was such a good step. Especially when it comes to the OT4 for cementing that everything was on equal ground? Or as equal as she could expect it to be after a few weeks and with everything that was happening.

The number of times she might not have been as stable, settled, or happy are really high, but every time she stumbled across one of those points it was already being fixed by the people around her and the support she was getting - especially from Hansa. The shipping was a surprise, but here at endgame there's just this feeling like it's impossible for her not to love him as much as she does. He's such a major factor in why she got through this game without crumbling under the weight of her own fears and insecurities. Gangsta is... still very vague about her past and her background because it's still unravelling, but I do think she's probably been in love before. But I don't necessarily think it's been good for her? This might be the first time she's loved someone who reciprocated and... just treated her like she was someone they loved. Which is a whole overwhelming, and overwhelmingly good thing all at the same time and she's still adjusting and trying to be worthy of all that, but ... it means a lot to her.

To her, he's safety. He's never given her a reason to think she won't be safe with him -- and they've even had this conversation in person, sort of? About wanting the other to be safe. It's a warm and important thing, like she could fall backward and know he'd catch her, and she'd want to do the same for him. And for someone who hasn't had that, let alone from the men in her life, in a long time and in a form that is solid and certain... that's incredibly precious to her.

Also, y'know. Like I said on the hot or not chart. Boy hot. She's not blind?