![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
TL;CR MEME
1. Comment with your character.
2. Receive comments from others.
3. Reply to their comments with long ballads and explanations of your characters' relationship throughout the game.
4. Suffer as we have suffered over your CR.
1. Comment with your character.
2. Receive comments from others.
3. Reply to their comments with long ballads and explanations of your characters' relationship throughout the game.
4. Suffer as we have suffered over your CR.
1/?????? im so tired
Their CR is so bizarre? Their first thread was so innocuous with the stupid fish in the emporium and him lying to her face and then once she found that out and ran him down the following day I feel like we were doomed? She thought he was weird, but like a nice kind of weird when she first met him? Like "I don't understand half the stuff you say but it's fine because I like being around you!!!!" kind of way. And then wolf doxxed Kano as being a liar about the Emporium and about stealing stuff, and oof. We're gonna have to split this into like. three parts.
FIRST PART is WEEK ZERO AND ONE which was "hikaru is very loud and shuuya tries to pry her off with a stick and run away for five thousand years". Week zero she chased him down and asked for his name, he never gave it at this point and asked her to do something stupid for it, which she of course took very seriously. That's when she said she would call him Nico-kun until she could earn his name! She knew his name because she has eyes and could read, but it was a stubborn point for her to try and get him to see her as trustworthy. This was also when she took him to the planetarium, and he told her about The Snake. This will be important later and i cry for the rest of my fucking life.
And then Hajime died and whoops. that sucked. No worm for Hikaru.
Week ONE they were tied together and what a miserable week for both of them.
They had that first PC and really, really clashed, where Hikaru was trying really hard to just protagonist speech her way into trying to get an emotion that wasn't Lying out of him, and he wasn't having it. He wasn't entirely dishonest, but he was extremely hard to read, and she is earnest and stupid and emotional and there was a lot of tension there and she didn't quite know how to approach it, but she knew he wanted her to give up and that was the one thing she refused to do. I think this is when he started showing his true colors pretty damn fast, where she got the idea that he WANTED people to think of him as disgusting, and him admitting pretty casually what he thought of himself and getting legitimately dark with his mood when she refuted that.
But then he called her efforts to try to break through to him her winning their game, and that really upset her, because at least to her by this point she had only seen it as herself just trying really hard and not letting him drag her down. But he started shooting her the really evil looks, and she just chased him down and he ran like the big baby he is but she promised him that she wouldn't give up on him even though he'd given up on himself, and that she would earn his name but not if he was gonna just treat it like a game, and that she wanted to be his friend. And, you know, him calling her stupid about 7000 ways and saying it wasn't worth it. And that made her sad? The more he shot those evil, dead looks at her, the more she knew she was at least going in the right direction, but she was really scared for him and "What could be so horrible in your mind that you really don't want to tell the truth to anybody?" being shot down point blank was a pretty big red flag for her.
They then avoided each other for 4 days and were intensely miserable because they could barely walk, because kano wanted nothing to do with her. neato.
So then trial happened. :')
She saw him starting to just be himself As Kano Does, and between his actions and the evidence she panicked, and her trust in him broke long enough that she used an item on him, to force him to be nice for 24 hours. She 100% did this assuming it would help him to not be quite so brittle with people and open up a little more so that he wouldn't get any weird looks but OH BOY THAT SURE DIDN'T HAPPEN..... she was Extremely Concerned and though it wasn't working for a while, outside a few moments, but the most she tried to do was just stay next to him and help him feel a little less physically miserable. She was frustrated with him, but moreso she was just concerned, and she knew at least she could try and just make it a "I'll only be here to help you feel better and then you can do whatever you want" scenario
And then he got scapegoated and oof. She was so angry at everyone? And the guilt that came up with her was pretty bad? She was so, so so so so so so angry. And she went to talk to him first, because she at least wanted him to know what had happened, and she saw just how VULNERABLE he was and MISERABLE he was... This is the first time he told her (likely because of the item, which she would later come to hate herself for) he just flat couldn't talk about certain things, and that he was fighting for the people he cared about and that that was all that mattered to him, and the guilt just got the better of her and she doxxed herself. And, you know, he got understandably VERY UPSET, and his reaction was so visceral that it just tore her apart, because she realized that even though she thought she wasn't making progress whatsoever in getting through to him, that she still hurt him horribly in trying to undermine his own feelings, to make him think things he didn't want to think, and to make him feel miserable and exhausted and out of control when he was already under such scrutiny.
"There are better ways of helping, you know? You could just be there. You don't have to do anything, but be." That stuck out for a while and there's a reason it's on his CR chart for week one.
She let his name slip, because she'd known it, and she felt horrible for using it when she promised she wouldn't. But that at least got the conversation a little more to a place where Hikaru was so distraught that it redirected her to think a little more about how she was reacting, the things he was saying. And she tried, she tried her hardest to listen, to ask questions that weren't just useless filler, to take him seriously as he waffled between pulling her leg and actually saying things that sounded genuine. He told her he had to be on his own, and that he couldn't and wouldn't say why, and asked if she would leave him alone. She said no and we got this important little exchange:
"I'm still going to believe in you, Shuuya-kun.
There's a lot I can ask of you, without... making you do any of that."
"Will you still believe in me? Tomorrow, when I...
You know I have my reasons for things, right? Even if I can't explain it, even if nobody can understand it.
I haven't given up on fixing everything, both here and back home, even if it has to happen after my death."
She then promised that even if everything went wrong, she wouldn't forget him, and she'd try to find him. When he tried to shoot her down saying that, no dumbass the dead are dead, that wasn't something she'd accept. She knew she was going home to be dead, she knew at this point a few others were dead too... so she held on to a stubborn belief that, unless proven otherwise, there had to be a way. And that she would look for a way, and that she would try to find him no matter what. But, more importantly, she started pushing out of that protag go-getem attitude, and though she hated it personally, she still decided that his desires as a person and the mess that she'd learned was more important.
"If I can live, then so can you. And if I die... you can call me stupid for the rest of eternity, and I'll deserve every second of it. But I wanna do everything we can...
I'm not going to give up on finding how to fix this place, but... if I can find you out there, then I will! And if you don't want to come back, after all that...
I'll let you go."
And he told her that, if she found him after he died, that he would follow. And he promised that. And she was fucking MISERABLE FOR WEEKS. The entire conversation was good for her, to see how horribly she'd hurt him trying to do something good, and it got her to tell a bunch of people what happened so that everyone wouldn't be so "oh kano he's so ornery he was asking for it" vibe... plus Hikaru has such problems with guilt when another life is on the line, lmao.
This is only week one and I already have to split this up i hate this ANYWAY EXECUTION --->> WEEK FOUR I GUESS
SO HE TRIED TO KILL JEANNE AND THAT WAS HORRIFYING but the fact that he got to end on his own terms, while awful to watch, was something that she'd think about for a while after that. She wasn't able to send him messages because haha goats.......... but she kept being honest about what happened, and she got slapped at least once for it and yelled at a few other times, but she took it, because he got killed for her making a bad decision so what did it matter if she had to take the fire for something she was responsible for?
His letter disguised through Schwann/Raven just made that about 10000000 worse, which i feel was his intention. But since Schwann had expressed a similar sense of disappointment in her over something somewhat related, she didn't think anything suspicious of it. She just assumed she was failing more people than she originally thought, and she buckled down twice as hard, which really sucked because she was also losing a shitton of memories because I was very mean to her.
Anyway... she sure didn't forget him, and she sure was PANICKED AS SHIT about forgetting him. And then she died. :') Neat. Time to make part 2 oh my god