dianxias: (37)

[personal profile] dianxias 2020-10-06 08:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[ of course he has.

the moment that virid was able to speak his own memories again - the moment xie lian realized why he was able to do so, the white no face was the first thought on his mind. after all, he was the originator of the human face plague, and the originator of its horrible, horrible cure.

spoken into the air, around them.

xie lian jerks backwards as she disappears from his grip, reaching at his belt for a sword that isn't there, and hasn't been in centuries. when his head lifts, he sees them. scared, angry people, desperate for a cure.

the adrenaline reacts first, the fear striking him as viciously as the first blade had that day.

"so in other words, even if we kill him, he won't die?! that's great!"

"the common people are here, xian le. go save them."
the white no face had mocked, then, holding him tied up on his own altar, waiting, waiting. watching, as humanity showed its hands. just like now. for a moment, xie lian is frozen to his spot, standing there and facing down the worst moment of his life, again, the white no face at his back.

and in this moment, xie lian doesn't think about how unreal this situation is, or how this is just the subject of a nightmare. he doesn't think about that night at the temple.

he thinks, instead, of a young soldier named no one, and takes a deep breath. ]


-- COME ON THEN! [ xie lian roars, at the top of his lungs, throwing his arms out to the side, open, waiting. ] I can't die! Do what you must, stab me if you need to save yourselves and your families!

[ he's been here, before, heart racing in his chest, terrified, but energized all the same. if it takes a day. if it takes a month. if he's reduced to a puddle of flesh and has to spend agonizing weeks of his own nightmares reforming his body thanks to the immortality this being had bestowed on him as a nightmarish gift-- ] Do you think I wouldn't let the whole world do this to stop your plague, White No Face?! Do you think I'll let you break me ever again?! Who the hell do you think I am?!

[ xie lian's attention falls to the people in front of him, the furious crowd, his voice rising in volume. ] I am the Crown Prince of Xian Le, and I have failed you! This monster wanted to teach me a lesson, and used you as collateral -- and you aren't collateral! You were the reason I ascended, my followers, and I failed you. I couldn't save the common people as a god, and not as a person, either--

[ he slaps his chest, right over his heart, tears in his eyes. ] --But that doesn't mean I can't keep trying!

Come on, then! I can save the people because I want to! I can give myself up as their shield, because I want to! I'm not afraid of you, White No Face - and I don't need you to teach me anything! I won't be like you! I'll never!
Edited 2020-10-06 21:00 (UTC)
recrowns: (➸ on a faded afternoon)

[personal profile] recrowns 2020-10-06 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)
['heavy is the head that wears the crown,' they would say, but it's clear that they did not know the half of it.

soo-won is dizzy, and he is exhausted, and more than that, he knows that this is all false. he knows that there is no reason why kouka would suffer this fate, so suddenly. not when the generals are finally united, and their system of alarm works. not when yona and her comrades are out there, and while he does not wish to rely on them - he knows that they would never cause this much destruction to their beloved home.

a lie works into his head, trying to discern what falsities to say - he is simply dizzy from smoke inhalation. it's painful. breathing is painful. watching his ambitions go up in literal flames is painful.

he breathes out, in difficult breaths:]


Follow... General Joo-doh... Mobilize the - Sky Tribe Army. Focus on... evacuating the people, and salvaging... the crops.

[is this a test? are these the monsters? he wonders again, what he is meant to fight in this situation - or is he simply to be tormented?

his defense is only as powerful as his heart, was it?

very well. then his heart would continues as it always has - to beat for the purpose of defending his kingdom against any onslaught, until the moment that he can no longer carry on.]
dianxias: (180)

[personal profile] dianxias 2020-10-06 10:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[ he watches in horror, the blood in his veins turned to ice.

this is what xie lian wanted to avoid, more than anything, when the human face plague first began. this is why he kept the secret of its cure - why the people screamed for his downfall, when they learned he was keeping it from them.

because it was this nightmarish scene that was avoided.

most of the people in xian le died. his family was no exception - his mother and father and himself fled. feng xin and mu qing left him, one by one. his cousin... his cousin, xiao jing, terrible, but probably dead somewhere too. killed by war, killed by plague, but not killed by their own hands, violently rioting at each other.

stunned, frozen to the spot, xie lian stands there, his heart still pumping a mile a minute.

his heart, as the sound around him muffles itself to nothing, as he pushes himself in front of a blade and feels like he's been shot with spiritual energy, electric and firing, but no pain. for a moment, it's spinning desperation of his own, trying to stop the blood the splatters the formerly golden pathways of the place he was born, but nothing works. not a single wound, not a single hurt.

his heart, working, beating.

that's the only defense that he has. he remembers monsters, blurry. there are monsters you need to defend against.

no matter what, xie lian's heart has always beat, strong in his chest. even when he most wanted to die, when he tried, nothing could kill it. ruoye goes, away, and he doesn't reach for it, as death itself unwinds from around his wrist, his mothers, his fathers, but not his own. ]


This isn't real. [ xie lian repeats, again, trembling with anger, with fury, but not with despair, as he takes a step backwards, and then whips around to where he'd heard the voice of the bai wuxiang, focusing all of his fury on him. ] You aren't real. You can't kill something that's already dead!
recrowns: (➸ we are like)

[personal profile] recrowns 2020-10-06 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
[it'd be nice to have a strong heart right about now!

soo-won grits his teeth and tries to think on how to address this situation. he's dying, and he's losing against the battle of his own body. he knew that this day would come and yet some part of his mind rejects this - this is not reality, and even though he knew that this day was inevitable, that he would one day meet his end, he knows that this is wrong.

so they have the power to take his suffering and making it manifest in front of him, do they?

it's weak, but if he could name a successor in this moment, or at least someone to look too while their king lay dying:]


Joo... doh....

[seek general joo-doh, and he will lead even this fictional kouka into its next era.

even as his mind continues to race, trying to determine escape. because he doesn't want to die, he's never wanted to die - no matter how long he's been aware that he would.]
dianxias: (177)

[personal profile] dianxias 2020-10-07 12:15 am (UTC)(link)
[ ruoye soarin', flyin' away!

xie lian lifts his arm as if he's going to swing at the white no face - it vanishes before he gets the chance to, and his eyes lift to ruoye, wriggling free.

he hates the idea of doing anything the white no face says, but - it's a dream. it's just a dream.

he can't let his past run away from him, literally. xie lian makes a noise, a quiet scoff, and takes off running after it. ]
recrowns: (we are wild)

[personal profile] recrowns 2020-10-07 12:41 am (UTC)(link)
[if he even can anymore sure is the question here. there's some part of him that is still racing to give direction because this kouka isn't real, it's not, but.

his mind is getting foggy, between the pain and the weakness. if he were to be numbed down to his most vulnerable, if he were to place his trust in anyone, anyone else - ]


... H...ak... Yo....na.....

["That girl is the Crimson Dragon King. She will be the cause of your downfall."

maybe so.

but she loves the country just the same as he does - and if he were to leave it in the hands of any, then it should be the only person who's outmaneuvered him at every step.

it should be the two of them.]
dianxias: (188)

[personal profile] dianxias 2020-10-07 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
[ there's an instant sensation of relief when xie lian sees the first silver butterfly. for a moment, his attention draws away from ruoye, but only for the seconds to run to the red figure at the end of the road. san lang's butterflies are the scourge of the heavens, maybe, a signal of impending doom, but to xie lian, the mean that someone important is here.

someone safe.

as hua cheng runs towards him, xie lian meets him halfway. ]
San Lang! There's no time to explain, I think someone's in trouble!

[ xie lian's faith in hua cheng is unshakable. unwavering, after all of this time. every time xie lian has needed him, he has been there, and he is right there. just in the nick of time.

it doesn't even occur to him that hua cheng could be who the white no face spoke of.

before it's too late, your highness. his eyes shoot upwards, away from the hands reaching for his, looking for his sort of spiritual device. ]
I need - where's Ruoye?

[ a beat, and then, his gaze drops back to hua cheng. ]

...Why do you have your butterflies?
Edited 2020-10-07 00:52 (UTC)
recrowns: (➸ my heart moving?)

[personal profile] recrowns 2020-10-07 01:12 am (UTC)(link)
[ah.

he pouts a little at that, against all odds. push him to the brink and then jeopardize his choices, huh! the aches and residue of pain still linger at the edges of his memory, and automatically he seeks to catch his breath - if there's much point in that anymore? is he still alive in this illusion?

well, his consciousness is still here and so:]


I'd leave it to Hak and Yona.

The Thunder Beast and the Princess of Kouka - nothing more, nothing less.

You're the ones who removed General Joo-doh in that timeline! Picking a different general would create instability amidst the tribes as an act of favoritism, and cause an internal fracture within Kouka's borders.

This was the only sensible option.

[don't fucking argue with the disembodied voice you piece of shit]
dianxias: (38.)

[personal profile] dianxias 2020-10-07 01:23 am (UTC)(link)
[ that surely gets the reaction the white no face was looking for.

he has a relieved smile for hua cheng, at first, some of the tension disappearing off of his face as he comes to terms with the idea of solving the problem with hua cheng, and then --

it all happens so fast. he's being pushed - ]
San Lang --

[ because even if he's a ghost, even if he's immortal, he shouldn't have to suffer. not for xie lian, he shouldn't have to hurt, not when xie lian can protect him from pain, because he deserves it. his face contorts, surprise, horror, and his hands are on hua cheng's back, as if he can pull him off and away from it, out of the way.

so he feels it the way his body starts to crumble, and xie lian's entire world falls apart at the seams. ]


San Lang! [ this time, it's a scream torn out of his throat, anguish and sorrow as another person dies for him. the people in the dream, his parents, wanting him to be free of their burden, the little girl from mt yu jun, more and more -

he can't look away as it's happening, panic and fear and confusion rising so fast it nearly takes him out. he drops to his knees with hua cheng as he's crumbling, trying to gather him in his arms as if he can hold his pieces together. xie lian has experienced so, so much loss in his life, and this is what he's always been afraid of. xie lian, you ominous star; the closer he got to someone, the more likely they were to end up like this. ]
No -- no, no, San Lang, you can't - you promised, you can't --

[ and then.

nothing. shell shocked, he stays there on his knees, as the person he thought was invincible is gone. ]
recrowns: (➸ when i discover)

[personal profile] recrowns 2020-10-07 01:39 am (UTC)(link)
[ . . . tell me something I don't know.

there are pieces of his memory that make it hard for him to grasp pervious events, that leave giant puzzle pieces missing, but none of it manage to touch the feeling of wrong every time he interacts with yona. he has no right to be by her side - even if he's not sure why that is.

but he knows it well, that someone as cursed as he, has no reason to be at the side of the one such as her. for all the kindness that she shows him, and the weakness she inspires -

he cannot go to her, and he cannot redeem himself.

even as his consciousness begins to fade, his emotions harden and he decides, firmly:

This is not over yet.

defiant to the last, still trying to take everything into his own hands.]
dianxias: (49.)

[personal profile] dianxias 2020-10-07 01:49 am (UTC)(link)
[ the bai wuxiang's voice is not the last thing xie lian hears, when his consciousness fades.

as blackness cordons off his vision, xie lian reaches upwards with a trembling hand, and finds the ring on a chain around his neck. his palm touches the cool metal, shaking fingers curling tight around it, until the edges prick into his palm, and it unbidden, two voices exchange in the back of his mind. the flippant one of a ghost, pretending to play a teenager, and a god, pretending to play a normal human being.

"there's a tradition in the ghost realm. in the case where that ghost has chosen a person, they would entrust their ashes into that person's hands."

"so, it turns out the ghost realm would have such a sentimental custom!"

"they do. but not many ghosts would dare to it."


his hand tightens around the ring.

...we aren't dead yet, he thinks, and everything goes black. ]