[ you are standing in the royal holy pavilion, and you can smell smoke in the air. it's the first breath of relief after a crowd of resentful spirits swarmed the holy temple, and you, crown prince, were able to near instantly find the vital spot to disperse them. there's a magnificent sword in your hand; you are dressed in fine clothing, and thrumming with powerful spiritual energy.
your two bodyguards kneel on the floor, both sooty but otherwise fine, and at your side, a young child holds his head. he is filthy, wearing red and covered in bandages, and he is surrounded by three deputy guoshi. your tutor, famed mei nianqing, grand master guoshi, renowned for his skills and talents in fortune tellers sits in front of you, and he looks horrified.
"your highness" he says, suddenly, springing to his feet, "you really shouldn't have brought that thing up this mountain. that small child is toxic! his sign is borne of the most ominous star, the star of solitude, destined to bring misfortune and destruction, the kind that evil loves most. whoever touches him will have misfortune befall them, whoever gets close will lose their lives--"
before he can finish, though, there is a scream coming from the tiny, red wearing child. he is young, barely 10 years old, but the noise that rips out of his throat is agonized, filled to the brim with unmistakable, unspeakable pain and anguish, and he runs full speed at the guoshi to headbutt him, and he hits and tears and cries at the guoshi.
around you, the deputy guoshi gasp, horrified, and your bodyguards leap to their feet. they tear the child away from the guoshi, who scrambles backwards, yelling "MAKE HIM GO DOWN THE MOUNTAIN, HURRY! Don't touch him, I mean it! That fortune is too toxic! Don't touch him!"
the deputy guoshi jump as if they were burned. your bodyguards are frozen to the spot, and everyone avoids the child like he is poisonous - it just makes it worse. he screams, and thrashes, and bites at anything he can, like a wild animal. "I'M NOT!! I'M NOT, I'M NOT!"
and you, crown prince, holy child, beloved son, come back to your bearings.
and you walk forward. you keep walking, forward, forward, past the deputy guoshi, and drop to your knees behind the child
and you take him in your arms. ] You're not. I know you're not. Don't cry, now. I know you're not.
[ the child stops, frozen in your arms, like a wild, captured animal. his tiny hands catch the white fabric of your sleeves, spreading grime from the spot, and hold on for dear life. he takes a deep breath --you feel him trembling in your arms, tiny, emaciated, terrified thing, and you close your eyes.
and you feel something in that child's body just give. he takes a deep, heaving breath, and bursts into tears.
your heart breaks.
you pull the child closer to yourself, and speak, again, firmly. you will not be questioned. ] It's not you. It's not your fault.
[ the child whips around, suddenly, buries his face in your chest, and begins to wail.
the guoshi warns you, one last time - i mean it, it's best to let go, and you shake your head, and hold the tiny hong hong-er in your arms, so that if he falls apart, you can keep his pieces together. you let him scream and cry, like a wounded animal sobbing its last breaths, the desperate cries of a grown man breaking down instead of the misery of a ten year old. you ignore your advisers, let him soak the front of your snow white robes with his tears and blood and dirt. you don't care.
bad luck be damned; hong hong er is not an ominous star. he is a child, who deserves to be loved. who deserves kindness. who has suffered, so very much, so much so that his sobs rattle his bones, rattle the entire pavilion.
you will not be the reason he continues to suffer.
if this child's misery is - is heaven fated, then you, crown prince, beloved son, soon-to-be-god -- you will change his fate with your bare hands.
were a lot of blank spots, in that memory. that's deeply troubling - it feels like water, slowly dripping out of his cupped hands.
xie lian closes his eyes, for a moment, but no matter how he tries to find the details again, they're gone. eventually, though, he nods, setting that to the side. ]
...En, it was. It was...I believe, the third time we met.
[ that - gets xie lian's nose to wrinkle, unattractively, into what can only be called a Face. ugh. ugh!!!!! ]
...Yes, I do. My... cousin was harassing him, the second time we met. [ U G H. even xie "you could spill soup in my lap and i'd probably apologize to you" lian appears to have someone he doesn't like! and he clearly doesn't like this person a lot. ] He put that child behind a wagon in a gunny sack and drove the wagon through the city streets.
I happened to be in the streets instead of at the palace, and luckily stopped him before he could assault Hong-er any further.
[ and he doesn't even remember how bad he is right now! ]
...well, after hearing a story like that, would you? There was just no reason for him to do that, short of that fact that he was a cruel, violent, boorish young man. [ qi rong is a fucking goblin
This is certainly an unusual side to you. [ goat would be amused, except he just feels bad for the kid. ] Then again, I suppose there's something about those whom one is personally familiar with--it is easier to be aggravated with them for their grievances.
[ he also feels bad for the kid!!! hong-er did not deserve this! this is why hua cheng hates qi rong so much also. ]
I'd try to pop one of these things to let you see what I mean, but I do not trust my luck - and besides, you would be better off not getting to know him. [ also then you might get a cannibal memory and nobody wants that. ]
...It was just utterly senseless. Violence, for violence's sake - against a child that was already suffering, in so many ways.
[ yeah!!! people who persecute are the worst! really, xie lian would not dislike anyone unless they deserved it, and even then, they would deserve forgiveness if they were willing to reflect on their actions.... but qi rong never changed, and if xie lian could still remember him, he'd still think so.
he's taking a sip of his drink as goat says the last thing, and then tilts his head. it brings a smile to his face, soft at the edges. ]
...I like to think so. It is as we talked about; I would not have changed an action I took.
[ especially now that he finally knows just what it meant to that child - and who that child turned out to be. ] Speaking of! Brother Goat, aside from these memories, since they seem to be quite unique in that they show things even we ourselves don't remember - how are things going, with your memories?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Only if you are willing.
1/2 i hope jesus christ these are always terribly long
I have told you much, my friend. I am not afraid of what you may see.
[ so. setting down his food, xie lian shifts, and reaches up to gently tap two fingers against the closest bubble. ]
no subject
your two bodyguards kneel on the floor, both sooty but otherwise fine, and at your side, a young child holds his head. he is filthy, wearing red and covered in bandages, and he is surrounded by three deputy guoshi. your tutor, famed mei nianqing, grand master guoshi, renowned for his skills and talents in fortune tellers sits in front of you, and he looks horrified.
"your highness" he says, suddenly, springing to his feet, "you really shouldn't have brought that thing up this mountain. that small child is toxic! his sign is borne of the most ominous star, the star of solitude, destined to bring misfortune and destruction, the kind that evil loves most. whoever touches him will have misfortune befall them, whoever gets close will lose their lives--"
before he can finish, though, there is a scream coming from the tiny, red wearing child. he is young, barely 10 years old, but the noise that rips out of his throat is agonized, filled to the brim with unmistakable, unspeakable pain and anguish, and he runs full speed at the guoshi to headbutt him, and he hits and tears and cries at the guoshi.
around you, the deputy guoshi gasp, horrified, and your bodyguards leap to their feet. they tear the child away from the guoshi, who scrambles backwards, yelling "MAKE HIM GO DOWN THE MOUNTAIN, HURRY! Don't touch him, I mean it! That fortune is too toxic! Don't touch him!"
the deputy guoshi jump as if they were burned. your bodyguards are frozen to the spot, and everyone avoids the child like he is poisonous - it just makes it worse. he screams, and thrashes, and bites at anything he can, like a wild animal. "I'M NOT!! I'M NOT, I'M NOT!"
and you, crown prince, holy child, beloved son, come back to your bearings.
and you walk forward. you keep walking, forward, forward, past the deputy guoshi, and drop to your knees behind the child
and you take him in your arms. ] You're not. I know you're not. Don't cry, now. I know you're not.
[ the child stops, frozen in your arms, like a wild, captured animal. his tiny hands catch the white fabric of your sleeves, spreading grime from the spot, and hold on for dear life. he takes a deep breath --you feel him trembling in your arms, tiny, emaciated, terrified thing, and you close your eyes.
and you feel something in that child's body just give. he takes a deep, heaving breath, and bursts into tears.
your heart breaks.
you pull the child closer to yourself, and speak, again, firmly. you will not be questioned. ] It's not you. It's not your fault.
[ the child whips around, suddenly, buries his face in your chest, and begins to wail.
the guoshi warns you, one last time - i mean it, it's best to let go, and you shake your head, and hold the tiny hong hong-er in your arms, so that if he falls apart, you can keep his pieces together. you let him scream and cry, like a wounded animal sobbing its last breaths, the desperate cries of a grown man breaking down instead of the misery of a ten year old. you ignore your advisers, let him soak the front of your snow white robes with his tears and blood and dirt. you don't care.
bad luck be damned; hong hong er is not an ominous star. he is a child, who deserves to be loved. who deserves kindness. who has suffered, so very much, so much so that his sobs rattle his bones, rattle the entire pavilion.
you will not be the reason he continues to suffer.
if this child's misery is - is heaven fated, then you, crown prince, beloved son, soon-to-be-god -- you will change his fate with your bare hands.
the memory fades away, there. ]
no subject
goat is quiet after the memory, as he tilts his head, deep in thought. finally-- ]
... Was that the child? The one you saved.
no subject
were a lot of blank spots, in that memory. that's deeply troubling - it feels like water, slowly dripping out of his cupped hands.
xie lian closes his eyes, for a moment, but no matter how he tries to find the details again, they're gone. eventually, though, he nods, setting that to the side. ]
...En, it was. It was...I believe, the third time we met.
no subject
The third...? Do you recall the second, then? I assume the parade was your first encounter...
no subject
...Yes, I do. My... cousin was harassing him, the second time we met. [ U G H. even xie "you could spill soup in my lap and i'd probably apologize to you" lian appears to have someone he doesn't like! and he clearly doesn't like this person a lot. ] He put that child behind a wagon in a gunny sack and drove the wagon through the city streets.
I happened to be in the streets instead of at the palace, and luckily stopped him before he could assault Hong-er any further.
no subject
[ amazing. ]
You don't think fondly of your cousin, I take it.
no subject
...well, after hearing a story like that, would you? There was just no reason for him to do that, short of that fact that he was a cruel, violent, boorish young man. [ qi rong is a fucking goblin
anyway. ]
...I shouldn't speak ill of the dead, I'm sorry.
no subject
This is certainly an unusual side to you. [ goat would be amused, except he just feels bad for the kid. ] Then again, I suppose there's something about those whom one is personally familiar with--it is easier to be aggravated with them for their grievances.
no subject
I'd try to pop one of these things to let you see what I mean, but I do not trust my luck - and besides, you would be better off not getting to know him. [ also then you might get a cannibal memory and nobody wants that. ]
...It was just utterly senseless. Violence, for violence's sake - against a child that was already suffering, in so many ways.
no subject
[ ... ]
Though to have met that child again and again--it seems as though you two were meant to encounter one another.
no subject
he's taking a sip of his drink as goat says the last thing, and then tilts his head. it brings a smile to his face, soft at the edges. ]
...I like to think so. It is as we talked about; I would not have changed an action I took.
[ especially now that he finally knows just what it meant to that child - and who that child turned out to be. ] Speaking of! Brother Goat, aside from these memories, since they seem to be quite unique in that they show things even we ourselves don't remember - how are things going, with your memories?
no subject
I have not recalled anything new since the last time everyone on our team regained something...
no subject
That's too bad, though I suppose it isn't surprising...
no subject
Mm. I regain my memories primarily when the rest of you do, it seems...
wow i love finding threads i never got notifs for... crusty backtag hours
[ yaaaay ]