AUDIENCE: HANSA

[retellers]

Comments

[robopriest]

I do hope you're not putting a nice priest like myself in any of those two groups.

[Though there's an especially amused smile on his face that suggests he wouldn't mind if he was put in one of them. The first one.]

You're absolutely right, though. There are some heroes here, of course. But the rest aren't quite as impressive. It makes me wonder what kind of hodge-podge selection system this Realm must have...so count me on for that conspiracy theory. Is there any way to submit a complaint directly to your manager, Tiger?

[retellers]

I have been trying every day for like a week.

But... you know how when you came in here, you just knew what to do in order to get me to show up? Communicating with the Realm is like that, mostly.

[robopriest]

So it's just...intuition?

[A beat.]

You're all really flying blind here, huh. Wouldn't envy your position.

[retellers]

Something like that. We know it's the Realm, but there's no actual speaking involved.

[ they mutter, ]

Very cultish.

[robopriest]

No speaking? [Huh.] What do they do, send telegraphs?

[retellers]

This is going to sound really gross, but it's like, you just feel it.

[ don't imply feelings are gross ]

[robopriest]

Feel it...how? Like...vibrations?

[WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?]

[retellers]

Like...

[ GESTURES ]

[robopriest]

[SO DESCRIPTIVE!!!!!]

...

If its that vague, how are you supposed to follow what it wants? Like, that must be like following instructions from some smudged ink stains on a napkin.

[retellers]

We just know what it means when it communicates to us. I'm really not sure how to explain it, but it makes sense to me since I'm the one receiving it from the dumb thing.

[robopriest]

"Since you're the one"? Do the others not do it? Or am I misunderstanding that?

[retellers]

No, I mean between the two of us. The six of us receive the same information at the same time.

[robopriest]

Oh.

[THIS IS LIKE. SCIENCE FICTION EMPATH ALIEN STUFF, HUH]

And you haven't seen what it looks like, I'm guessing.

[retellers]

[ they shake their head. ]

It doesn't have a physical form in that sense.

[robopriest]

Of course it doesn't. No mental forms? Emotional forms? Metaphysical forms?

[retellers]

This is exactly why I did not volunteer to be part of the welcome party.

[ they hate answering questions.

but, they will still do it, despite that. ]

The Realm is a space that connects to different places, and its consciousness is like, powered through that connection? So it doesn't feel emotions like we do, but it can still be hurt since it depends on those connections to stay intact. The connection is primarily based on memories, or nova. There is probably a much longer, and more detailed explanation out there somewhere, but I'm already getting a headache from just saying this much.

[ it's all so very stupid ]

[robopriest]

Okay, okay, I'll spare your poor brain for now.

[This...sounds so complicated. Good lord.]

So essentially, nova keeps the connection alive, the Realm needs the connection to power its own consciousness, so...ugh. I think you're giving your headache to me.

[retellers]

You can never say I haven't given you a gift now.

[robopriest]

A gift I don't want and I don't need. You're so good at this.

[A short sigh.]

Anyways, when we all do this nova competition thing, do you all get to go home free, too?

[retellers]

[ they nod. ]

We should. There's no reason for people to be here normally, so once everything isn't on fire the Realm won't have any need for us to stick around.

[robopriest]

Lets hope for that.

[Oh, and something comes to mind.]

...That thing that Rabbit told Shigeo, about our worlds being frozen in time while we're here...was that just something to make him feel better?

[retellers]

Eh, that's one way to say it. More accurately, it's that you'll just be returned to the exact moment you were taken.

[robopriest]

That's good.

[Glances at his...................magic cup auction he's missing out on.]

So, where do you guys hang out? Got a cult headquarters?

[retellers]

Yeah. Wanna come see the goat we're going to sacrifice?

[ please be nice to goat, they don't deserve this. ]

[robopriest]

Sure, why not. A priest can't rightfully endorse heathen rituals like that, so if you're asking for help in that regard, can't do it.