It's - it's not your fault, Brother Goat. [ xie lian shakes his head, finally--his sympathy for goat's own suffering eases some of his tension and reshifts his attention that way. ] I have been lucky that I have been successful at least once so far.

I...I don't want to accept it. If I could force myself to stay awake - I'd let her kill me, if that would fix it - but it fixes nothing. [ there is no right feeling here. there is no right decision. you will never save anyone, over and over in the back of his head.

the violence fixes nothing. it never does.

he hates this so much.

xie lian lets the words fall between them again, as he pushes his own feelings onto a shelf, back, away. ] ...I won't give up. [ he says, softly. ] I can't. I won't stop. I promise.