[ xie lian glances to the side at him as he has that realization, and the expression on his face probably says it more than anything else - that goat is exactly right.
the tighter contact helps, though. his fingers flex, and the corner of his mouth lifts a little; xie lian nods at goat, and a quiet gratitude fills him at i am here. besides san lang, no one has ever really been "here" for him. not - not since the white no face. (who claimed, once - your highness, only i will never leave you.)
having someone to lean on... it is a nice change. ]
...Things took a rapid turn for the worse, after that. Between the war with Yong'an, the human face plague, and the drought, the entire kingdom was destroyed, and the ire of the people fell solely upon me, because I could not help them. I had not ever known the taste of failure, until then. I do not blame them even now for it; it is not their fault that they suffered, and that they needed somewhere to release their anger and hurt. We were forced to flee the country, and the Yong'an kingdom took over not long after.
[ there's a moment of silence. thoughtful, quiet, as xie lian lets that information sink in. ]
...You know, when I first arrived here, I thought that the White No Face was the one behind it all. "You can kill someone to receive your memories back" - it sounds like the kind of cruel bargain he would create. I know now, that isn't the truth - he is long defeated.
...but, I saw him last week, when I was "fighting the monsters", and... what I said - that is what happened. In my dream, I watched the people of Xian Le tear each other apart over the cure to the plague, even though I begged them to attack me instead, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
...that it was able to manifest that as my greatest fear made sense, later. Because they turned their weapons on me, first, and it didn't affect me like the ... dream, or whatever it was, must have thought it would have.
Because... The White No Face had already put me through that. He had already taught a hundred infected people - refugees from Xian Le - the cure, trapped them in a temple, and placed a solution in front of them, that they took him up on.
no subject
the tighter contact helps, though. his fingers flex, and the corner of his mouth lifts a little; xie lian nods at goat, and a quiet gratitude fills him at i am here. besides san lang, no one has ever really been "here" for him. not - not since the white no face. (who claimed, once - your highness, only i will never leave you.)
having someone to lean on... it is a nice change. ]
...Things took a rapid turn for the worse, after that. Between the war with Yong'an, the human face plague, and the drought, the entire kingdom was destroyed, and the ire of the people fell solely upon me, because I could not help them. I had not ever known the taste of failure, until then. I do not blame them even now for it; it is not their fault that they suffered, and that they needed somewhere to release their anger and hurt. We were forced to flee the country, and the Yong'an kingdom took over not long after.
[ there's a moment of silence. thoughtful, quiet, as xie lian lets that information sink in. ]
...You know, when I first arrived here, I thought that the White No Face was the one behind it all. "You can kill someone to receive your memories back" - it sounds like the kind of cruel bargain he would create. I know now, that isn't the truth - he is long defeated.
...but, I saw him last week, when I was "fighting the monsters", and... what I said - that is what happened. In my dream, I watched the people of Xian Le tear each other apart over the cure to the plague, even though I begged them to attack me instead, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
...that it was able to manifest that as my greatest fear made sense, later. Because they turned their weapons on me, first, and it didn't affect me like the ... dream, or whatever it was, must have thought it would have.
Because... The White No Face had already put me through that. He had already taught a hundred infected people - refugees from Xian Le - the cure, trapped them in a temple, and placed a solution in front of them, that they took him up on.